Courtney Love and
Lily Allen are having Twitter warz this week. Shit kicked off when Allen wore some dress to the NME Awards that Love had her eyes on. Or something equally ridiculous. The two ended up posting unflattering shots of each other on Twitter before Allen called a truce and said she doesn’t pick fights with "crazy old ladies". We’ve yet to hear back from Courtney.
Courtney Love’s lack of response may have something to do with her brain damage confusion about getting her Twitter account verified. She’s been struggling with the process for the last few days and posting increasingly desperate/weird messages.
Rihanna was given a lap-dance by a porn star (Bridget the Midget) at her 22nd birthday party. There’s footage online if you're into that sort of thing.
It’s all fun and games at the Jackson family compound – until child services get involved. Seems that Jermaine Jackson's 13-year-old son, Jaafar, ordered a stun gun online to play with. And by 'play with' we mean 'zap' Blanket. Child services are taking this "very seriously". Blanket (who has the best name in the history of forever) is fine.
Oh hai, Naomi Campbell is still crazy and dangerous. Word is she assaulted her chauffer before fleeing into a crowded New York city street and. Well done to the NY Post writer who came up with the headline Driving Miss Crazy.
Megan Fox is not a slut. "I've only been with two men my entire life, my childhood sweetheart and [current boyfriend] Brian [Austin Green]. I can never have sex with someone that I don't love, ever. The idea makes me sick." Sorta reminds us of a certain Kevin Smith scene.
American Apparel’s quest to find the world’s best ass has ended. In related news, company founder Dov Charney has been admitted to hospital with wrist injuries. Probably. While they haven’t announced the winner yet, you can sample the entries at the AA website.
In related news, the Hipster Grifter, Kari Ferrell, has written any open letter to Charney offering her modelling services. He’s welcome to 'nut' on her chest tattoo in exchange for appropriate monetary remuneration.
Earthquakes are happening a lot right now. Chile is the latest country to get in on the action, its 8.8 quake earlier in the week was strong enough to shift the world off its axis and send us flying into another dimension. Taiwan has since followed up with its own – non dimension altering – quake. Would doing a Kanye West style "I’mma let you finish..." joke at this point be in poor taste?
According to a UK study, smart men are less likely to cheat on their partners. Or maybe they’re less likely to do some dumb shit and get caught.
Snooki from Jersey Shore met Phoenix this week. She asked them dumb questions and they looked down her top:
Turns out Killer Whales didn’t get their name in some ironic nod to their good nature. Tillikum, a 12 thousand pound whale (connected with two previous deaths), claimed his third victim this week, drowning a trainer at Sea World Florida. While the theme park has decided to let him live, they’ve shut down his Twitter account as punishment.
Lil Wayne has dodged jail a second time. The rapper’s sentencing was cancelled when the court house he was supposed to report to went up in flames. No word on when a new date will be scheduled (or how the fire *ahem* started), but Weezy is in good spirits: "They kant lok up my heart bekuz y'all already have it on lok," according to his Twitter.
There’s a Gilligan’s Island movie in the works. Details are scarce but Michael Cera’s name has been thrown about as a potential Gilligan. So, Lost, but with a boat?
Golden Girl Betty White has passed away... No. Wait. False alarm. While a story went round this week about her death, it seems Bets is actually fine and dandy. Also, very much alive. [Ed's note: that was cruel, my heart just skipped.]
Guru (from Gangstarr) suffered a heart attack this week and fell into a coma. The 43-year-old rap legend has since regained consciousness and issued a brief statement saying he is OK and that suckers still need bodyguards. "I am doing fine and I am recovering! I'm weak though ... I appreciate your well wishes and all the love!"
Irony: a former Ethiopian rebel commander has told a BBC program that 95% of aid money raised by Live Aid to help the victims of the 1985 famine was siphoned off to buy weapons. Bob Geldof is not amused; "a fucking tragedy". Rest of the world: not that surprised.
Amy Crackhouse and Blaaaaake are back together again. Frankly, they deserve each other.
The Hurt Locker producer, Nicolas Chartier, has been uninvited from the Academy Awards for "negative campaigning". Apparently he sent an email around complaining about the "$500 million film" and saying James Cameron likes to eat orphans and set puppies on fire in his spare time.
Terry Richardson watch: He took some photos of LiLo for Purple magazine.
Oops. A Facebook glitch accidentally sent a whole bunch of private messages (maybe your private messages?) to the wrong people. We’re assuming the person who mistakenly received "when you’re a flaming lesbian and in love with Ellen DeGeneres, the world just becomes one confusing place," was just as confused as the person who sent it.
Have you had your vagina Vajazzled yet? No. You’re obviously living in the past. Quit living in the past.
Awkward times at AFL HQ. The same week the football code launched a new campaign about 'not being a jerk to women', a certain Brendan Fevola is in trouble for allegedly passing around naked images of Lara Bingle. Mobile phone service providers have reported a notable spike in image transfers this week. Make of that what you will.
Christina Milian and The Dream are proud parents. While it’s Milian’s first child, The Dream managed to get three kids out of his first wife, Nivea.
If, for some inexplicable reason, you want to bring your shotgun into a Starbucks and wave it around while drinking your decafe chai latte, then Starbucks US is cool with that. True story. All the rednecks in the south are doing it.
Jessica Simpson has been on Oprah’s couch crying about being called "sexual Napalm" by John Mayer. Surely that’s a compliment?
The new Gorillaz clip (the first from their third album) is go. It features Bruce Willis and is legitimately awesome. The album, Plastic Beach, was released this week.