Apple has allowed pron on the iTunes App Store! Sort of. Pornstars
Sunny Leone and
Aria Giovanni have finally had their apps approved after several rejections. The catch? No actual porn, just some bikini shoots and fake breasts.
Hipster Grifter
Kari Ferrell has given an interview from behind bars. She’s sorry for stealing all your money. Hey, would you like to throw a hotdog down her hallway? Read the interview at
abcnews.go.com.
Han Solo has signed on for another
Indiana Jones movie.
Twitter is now supposed to be worth about $1 billion. The fact they have no advertising revenue, no financial model and no one actually reads other people’s Tweets doesn’t seem to bother investors as the company undertakes another round of fundraising.
Facebook, meanwhile, is now “cash flow positive” – a full year ahead of schedule. We don’t know what that means exactly, but we assume it’s an improvement on “cash flow negative”. Don’t expect
George Clooney to join the party though, he told reporters this week he’s rather have a man’s finger up his bottom than a Facebook page. Fair enough, Clooney doesn’t need to cyber-stalk anyone with all his 'lady friends'.
Serena Williams threatened to choke a bitch at the tennis after a line-call went against her. She’s been fined $10 thousand. Good thing she picked up that $200 thousand cheque for showing up.
Unconfirmed reports have
The Strokes current studio sessions on hold as
Albert Hammond Jr gets carted of to rehab. Apparently he broke up with model
Agyness Deyn and has fallen into a "shame spiral".
It takes a ballsy games company to release an expansion pack titled
The Ballad of Gay Tony. This second add-on for
Grand Theft Auto IV is due out October 29th. Whether Gay Tony is in fact gay remains a mystery.
Dan Brown released his latest piece of historical non-fiction this week,
The Lost symbol. The book has already shifted over one million copies. Expect a movie adaptation sometime next year. No word on whether it will have priest blowing up helicopters and skydiving onto the back of moving cars.
Lindsay Lohan is still crazy and dangerous this week. According to the tabloids she went up to some hotel room where
Samantha Ronson was supposed to be staying. When she couldn’t open the door she spazzed out, threw a room service tray at it and then got into an altercation with the rooms occupants (who definitely weren’t SamRo). A scuffle ensued and Lohan was kicked out of the hotel. Nice.
Jude Law managed not to impregnate anyone this week.
Americans are now free to carry guns on cross-country trains following a vote in the US Senate. You know, just in case the King of England tries to take over their trains and tax their tea.
Everyone is dying. All the time. Here’s a recap of recent months:
Patrick Swayze, Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Walter Cronkite and some other people who we can’t be bothered Googling. [Editor's note: Also, author/poet/musician/icon
Jim Carroll died. Why has pretty much nobody mentioned this anywhere? Why?]
PETA are still around. Still pulling stupid stunts that dilute their message about hugging seals and kissing puppies. This (banned) ad featuring
Pamela Anderson isn’t going to change that.
*Sigh* Five years since we maybe saw
Janet Jackson’s nipple for half a second the FCC (Federal Communications Commission) has said it wants to “further investigate” the nipple incident. Fucks sake, just buy some interracial porn, guys.
According to a new book by one of
George W. Bush’s speech writers, the former president thought
Sarah Palin was borderline retarded. "What is she, the governor of Guam?"
Elton John and his partner tried to adopt a Ukrainian kid this week. The government said no, Elton is too old. Also, too gay.
Whitney Houston did a big thing with Oprah this week where she admitted that she smoked cocaine rocks but never did crack. Ah, OK...
Things that
news anchors aren’t supposed to say live on air #878374: “Keep fucking that chicken.”
Finally.
You know who,
did you know what, at that awards thing earlier this week ... We don’t want to talk about it anymore. It’s old and boring now.