Korean Abdul Jabber (AKA
The Hipster Grifter, AKA Keri Ferrell) is behind bars for her sins – and is writing long letters about lesbian sex fantasies. She’s also attempting to auction her vagina and flashing her breasts at inmates for Jolly Ranchers. Frankly, we can’t wait until this gets turned into a movie. You can
read the letters here.
According to a former bodyguard, Anna Nicole Smith used to boot up Valium. As in, crush up the pills, cook them up and inject with a syringe. Hard to believe she died of a prescription drug overdose.
Karl Lagerfeld has told fat women to STFU. The man behind Chanel says fashion and the catwalk are all about fantasy and escapism and nobody wants to see fat chicks up there. Or, in his words: "These are fat mummies sitting with their bags of crisps in front of the television, saying that thin models are ugly."
That guy from Boyzone (Stephen Gately) died in Majorca earlier this week. No one knows exactly what happened after a night of 'heavy partying' on the Spanish island, but there is talk of 'choking on his own vomit'. Also, he was gay. Insanely gay. Super, super gay. The newspapers may have mentioned that.
Some internet company paid director Oliver Stone $75 thousand to speak at their annual conference. They probably didn’t expect him to say online produced video content like YouTube is like "jerking off in front of a camera". We’ll avoid making a slanderous remark about cocaine and Stone.
Here’s a shock, Avril Lavigne has filed for divorce from Sum 41 singer Deryck Jason Whibley. Frankly, we can’t believe they lasted as long as they did – three whole years. Looks like 25-year-old Avril is gonna have to find a new 'Sk8er Boi'. Sorry.
The doctor who maybe accidentally murder
Michael Jackson has had a warrant issued for his arrest. Apparently he’s a deadbeat and owes $13 thousand in unpaid child support. Meanwhile, the first posthumous Michael Jackson song has been released, 'This is It'. For what it’s worth, we don’t hate it.
According to the New York Times 'cougars' is a hot new trend. Sociologists agree. Oh, and a 42-year-old woman was recently crowned the inaugural Miss Cougar USA. Good work everyone.
Lindsay Lohan’s dad has been on television saying she has a drug problem. Her mum has been in the tabloids saying she doesn’t have a drug problem. Little wonder LiLo is a mess. Meanwhile, our favourite quote is from an unnamed source, who claims the actress is taking a smorgasbord of Paxil, Xanax, Ativan, Valium and Adderall and will "reach into her bag and take a handful without looking to see who they are." Sounds like a hell of a party.
Etsy is great, lots of handcrafted tidbits to go with your subscription to Frankie and organic tea. But what about some of the less awesome stuff up for sale? regretsy.com has that covered.
If you’re a sick pervert you can buy the Marge Simpson issue of Playboy in November. Alternatively, you can save yourself about $15 (and see 'teh sex') by typing 'Marge Simpson naked' into Google’s image search. But we wouldn’t recommend that.
So they’ve made an Astro Boy movie. According to early reviews (and this trailer), it’s not great.
Perez Hilton’s move into music promotion has gone down about as well as his stoush with will.i.am. The fat bastard recently organised a ‘Perez Hilton presents’ concert series featuring acts like Ladyhawke, Little Boots and others. So far the sales have been dismal with most venues only quarter full. His response? "If you love Ladyhawke, you shouldn’t let your dislike for me get in the way from coming to the show. Just get over it. It’s not about me." [Ed's note: Churrrrrr, Hilton. It's never about you.]
In case you needed some quantitative assurance, Facebook has now passed 300 million users and claims 60% of the global 'social networking' market. Also, it’s great for stalking people. Speaking of which, a woman in the US has been arrested after 'poking' another woman on Facebook. Seems there was some kind of restraining order in place and the 'poke' breached it. Good thing she didn’t vampire bite her, or throw a sheep, or whatever the latest stupid thing is.
Want to stage a music festival? Here’s how not to do it.
Some crazy people from the Child Labor Coalition want to take Pamela Anderson to court for violating child labour laws. Her crime? Making a 9-year-old girl hold the train of her dress at the Hollywood Style Awards. Where’s Charles Dickens when you need him?
Arnold Schwarzenegger iz cumming all da time. Creepy.
Jennifer Aniston is still sad and lonely. Someone walked in on her sobbing in her trailer “after filming a scene that reminded her of Brad Pit". Jesus...
In a surprise move, Barack Obama has won the Noble Peace Prize. Seems that not starting any new wars qualifies you these days.
Finally, here’s a re-edited classic from Ren and Stimpy. A little something for the late night crowd.