Paris Hilton’s international weed tour continues. She’s in St Tropez this week, relaxing on a yacht and ‘getting them out’. Pics in the image gallery.
Kanye West is now on Twitter (what took him so long?). To celebrate he stood on a table at Facebook HQ and
did a little rap verse. No, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
And speaking of Twitter,
Angelina Jolie has also started an account – but she’s not going to officially ‘launch’ it until later this year. Also, she wants to use it to help charities, or raise orphans, or cure cancer, or whatevs.
Movie guy one: “Let’s turn Battleships, the classic boardgame, into a feature film.”
Movie guy two: “Brilliant. Let’s get
Rihanna to make her acting debut in the movie.”
Movie guy one: “Brilliant. Let’s blow more coke up each others asses.”
Movie guy two: “Brilliant, brilliant.”
M.I.A.’s new album has debuted at #9 on the US charts, selling approximately 28 thousand copies. We’re not sure if that’s good or bad. It isn’t great, but no one buys CDs these days so, you know. [PS. M.I.A.,
plz shut up for five minutes.]
Johnny Depp obviously doesn’t care anymore. He’s officially signed on for
Pirates of the Caribbean 4 – in 3D. Somewhere in a New York Police precinct, Hanson is shaking his head sadly.
The
Bangs meme refuses to die. Your boy [insert bird cry] is now shilling the new Honda Jazz and has re-written
Take U To the Da Movies for the TV spot. He sounds even more confused and English-as-a second-language than before. Impressive!
Watch it here. And the
hipster version here.
That very sudden wedding between
Miranda Kerr and
Orlando Bloom? Might have something to do with an impending pregnancy. According to a fellow Victoria’s Secret model, "She's definitely pregnant... Miranda's thrilled... She's telling all her friends, mostly other models, about it."
California is $19 billion in the hole and could be broke by October.
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s plan to sell personally signed Hummers / brandish large knives in YouTube videos seems unlikely to make the money appear.
It’s been a while since we heard anything from
Amy Winehouse. Is she OK? Fighting fit according to reports from a UK pub. “Amy was lying on a table with her boobs hanging out, occasionally getting up to flash them and spray customers with olive oil. Then she walked across the pub to start licking some random person's dog. It was gross." Indeed.
Mischa Barton is sober again. Apparently.
What’s
Justin Timberlake been up to? Oh, you know, just directing some bizarre ads to shill his tequila.
See for yourself.
Sofia Coppola +
Natalie Portman + vintage bikes + Paris. The latest ad from Dior was brainstormed by robots from the future sat around a boardroom in hell. But it looks nice.
Remember that
stupid-hot photo shoot with
Lara Stone from the other week? The one that appeared in French Playboy? Yeah, well, she’s saying the images weren’t ‘authorised’. Or something along those lines. If you don’t know what we’re talking about you should click on this link immediately.
According to
scientists (and also that friend from high school who took acid) our universe may
actually exist inside a black hole and be part of some whole other universe. Not that it would really change anything, but it’s something to think about the next time you’re licking toads.
Zac Efron blew $2000 on strippers and booze with a couple of friends. Because that’s what guys do (it really is).
Wyclef Jean is going into politics. The former Fugee is going to run for President of Haiti.
Lindsay Lohan is still in jail. Inmates have taken to calling her ‘firecrotch’ - a nickname one of her exes came up with. We’re not even going to go there.
Apparently there are seven
‘gatekeepers’ around the world with the power to
restart the internet if society implodes. They’ve each been given a magic key. When they bring them together they form Voltron / reboot the router.
Miss u summer. Plz come back.
The Iranian President,
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has declared war on Paul the psychic octopus. Because Iran obviously doesn’t have more pressing issues to deal with.
Kings of Leon were forced to abandon an outdoor concert in St. Louis after pigeons showed up on the scene and proceeded to crap all over the stage (and in the bass players mouth). We’re gonna have to go with ‘Team Pigeons’ on this one.
Miss USA,
Rima Fakih, has been out partying in New York. There’s no really story, we just wanted an excuse to run some pictures of her.
1994’s
The Crow is the most emo movie ever written. And now it’s getting a franchise re-boot.
Nick Cave has been drafted in to write the screenplay, we’re assuming he’ll find room for that line about “It can’t rain all the time.”
“A guy in a
Harry Potter shirt stabbed someone in the eye with a pen at Comic Con last night over a seat at the Resident Evil: Afterlife panel.” Couldn’t be bothered rewriting this one, it was basically perfect.
And finally. We interviewed
Uffie the other week and she was telling us how much she loved
Teacup Pigs. We think this is what she meant: