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The week in trashbaggery sixty-eight

28 JAN 2011 | Posted By: -Mikolai-

The week in trashbaggery sixty-eight

aaron carter
Anchal Joseph
Bruce Willis
Cut Copy
james franco
Jersey Shore
Jessica Simpson
Jim Carrey
nicki minaj
Nicki Minaj has gotten kicked out of her London hotel for being too famous. Apparently all the paparazzi and randoms hanging around outside posed a security threat.

The cast of Jersey Shore are being sent to Italy for season four so they can ‘reconnect with the old country’. And then vomit on it, presumably. On that note, Snooki and Jwoww have a spin-off show where they move in together and fail to deal with the basic realities of life.

Jessica Simpson celebrated her ‘detox cleanse’ by getting wasted on fried prawns and Saki. She’s such a trooper.

American Apparel has gotten around the whole ‘porn’ thing by illustrating the naked women featured in their new ads. Drawings = not porn. Or something like that. NSFW images here.

So apparently Lady Gaga’s new perfume is supposed to smell like “blood and semen”. Charming. But we’re pretty sure this story already went around in 2010. Unless some other celebrity planned to release a perfume that smelt like blood and semen and never got around to it? Also, we would insert a video of that Grace Jones perfume commercial in Boomerang but all the online versions are terrible quality. Here’s an unrelated scene instead – in creepy French, for extra creepiness.

The baby boom apocalypse continues. Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem have successfully made a baby boy. So has Mike Tyson and his ladyfriend. Everyone else is either pregnant or just gave birth.

Looking for a London apartment? Got some cash to throw around? Perhaps One Hyde Park is the answer. It’s the world’s most expensive residential complex and an entry level apartment will set you back $15 million. If you want something a bit fancier there’s always the $225 million penthouse. Oh, and your neighbours will pretty much consists of Russian, Chinese and Arab arms dealers, political leaders and ‘miscellaneous’. Should make for interesting elevator small talk.

US drug cops have discovered a slingshot on the Arizona/Mexico border used to fire packets of weed into the US. Gold star for creativity.

"Black Eyed Peas frontman will.i.am was named the 'Director of Creative Innovation' at Intel. What will he do? Apparently, Intel doesn't even know. But it will be totally creative. And innovative. Creatively innovative. Directly creative. Creatively direct Boom boom pow!” Thank you Gawker.

If Mark Zuckerberg can get his Facebook account hacked what chance do the rest of us saps have?

Katy Perry did a photoshoot for Rolling Stone.

Some of you may be interested to learn James Franco has a sex tape. Or as he explained, “I think if anybody who has made a home sex tape knows, what feels best doesn't always look best. I remember when I was 19 doing that, and then watching it back and thinking, 'Oh, that looks horrible.'” He also has a lot of respect for pornstars.

Kevin Smith is running around saying it's "soul-crushing" working with Bruce Willis. Seems Bruce didn’t want to promote Cop Out. Can’t image why.

Triple J did their Hottest 100 thing for Australia Day. Angus and Julia Stone grabbed the top spot with some track we’re not even going to dignify with the five seconds of research it would take to name.

Meanwhile, in news that would have been SHOCKING in 1989, Tiffany has outed New Kids on the Block singer Jonathan Knight. She was on some US talk show when she shared her NKOTB story. "[I dated] the quiet one. The shy one. He became gay later.” Knight has never ‘confirmed’ his gayness. Anyway, we couldn’t care less (and neither does he), we just wanted an excuse to embed this lost classic.

Some woman named Tajah has written an extremely suspect account of her time as Rihanna’s lesbian lover (and various other famous people). We don’t believe a word of it, but that’s not going to stop us reprinting exerts like this: "Sex came up immediately and she was a freak. I wasn't in a sexual mood, I was on my spiritual journey and sex wasn't apart [sic] of my plans, it just wasn't important to me. However that didn't stop anything. She went down and gave me head, I didn't stop her. She bragged about the way I tasted and then all of a sudden after I came she snapped out of it and would get right back into her music.”

‘A soda laced with THC’ is going to be launched in California. Bottled Bong Water can’t be too far away.

Vanessa Hudgens has replaced Britney Spears as the face of Candie's. Relevant photos in the image gallery.

According to some scientist types, Facebook and texting make us more inclined to sex people. Something to do with building anticipation. Also, because FB is the biggest flirting/sexting/dating site in the universe.

Cheezburger Network (home of I Can Haz Cheezburger) has picked up $30 million in Venture capital. That’s a lot of Cheezburgers. (*boom tish*)

Turns out Oprah has a secret half-sister she unveiled to the world on TV. Maybe she can give her a show on her new television network?

Madonna’s bro: “I guess if she continues to date all these much younger guys, it could start to look creepy.” You think?

Lindsay Lohan is "completely over the club scene". In related news, we’re “never drinking again".

Former popstar Aaron Carter has gone into rehab to “to heal some emotional and spiritual issues.” Pathetic. Keith Richards should slap the shit out of him. Here he is when he was an embryo.

The Cut Copy leakwave continues. Thoughts?

A study has found that your jeans accumulate the same amount of filth and bacteria in 13 days as they do in 15 months. So yeah, if it’s been a while between washes you may as well enjoy the ride.

Jim Carrey has bounced right back from that break-up with Jenny McCarthy. He’s been sexing America's Next Top Model contestant Anchal Joseph. She’s 25 years younger than him, and looks sort of like an Egyptian Goddess.

Ruby Rose and Josh Thomas had Twitter Warz this week over unpaid booze in a strip club; apparently Ruby thought the $600 bill she racked up was 'free'. Click here if you’re into that sort of thing.

There’s a Wikileaks movie on the cards. No real surprise there.

And yeah, couldn’t find any new pet videos this week so here’s some classic Maru to wrap things up.
The week in Trashbaggery - volume 229
The week in trashbaggery - volume 228
The week in trashbaggery - volume 227
The week in trashbaggery - volume 226
The week in trashbaggery - volume 225
The week in trashbaggery - volume 224
The week in trashbaggery - volume 223
Comments on this Post
There are "2" comment(s) on "The week in trashbaggery sixty-eight"

Respect -Mikolai-
"You found out! I got a crush on you!" *shimmys across the room, does a little two-step routine, sits back down at computer*
-Mikolai-  -  3 years ago
Reply  |  Report
Respect freeak
Staring to really dig James Franco's style.
freeak  -  3 years ago
Reply  |  Report

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