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The week in trashbaggery one hundred and fourteen

16 DEC 2011 | Posted By: -Mikolai-

The week in trashbaggery one hundred and fourteen

Alec Baldwin
Demi Moore
Diaz and Diddy
Diaz and Diddy
Holly Golightly
Holly Golightly
Kris and Kim
Lindsay Lohan, Playboy
Scott Baio was pronounced dead on Twitter this week. His condition was later upgraded to ‘alive and angry’. Charles is still in charge! (Sorry.)

Cameron Diaz and P. Diddy have been caught 'making out'. Apparently the pair met up at a New York bar, ordered bottles of Ciroc, Grey Goose and Patron (very nice), got hammered and made out. As you do.

Are you planning on one day getting married? Yeah, you may want to think about that. According to stats from the US, just 51% of adults are married these days (down from 57% in 2000). So there you go, heterosexual marriage is pretty much ‘done’.

Either this is the worst movie ever, or Alec Baldwin, Tom Cruise and Catherine Zeta-Jones are taking the piss. Ladies and gentlemen, Rock of Ages.

If you feel like getting fired you can waste some company time perusing this Annotated History of Lindsay Lohan Nudity.

And speaking of LiLo, she used her Playboy feature to tell us about how much she has “learned” over the last five years and how she’s now totes OK and no longer walking around parties with cocaine talcum powder all over her heels. “Looking back, I probably would have listened to and taken more advice from the people whom I admire and would have followed through with it more. My stubbornness at 18- and 19-years-old got in the way.”

Facebook is introducing a new suicide prevention feature. You’ll soon be able to report ‘suicidal’ posts and FB will send the person a message asking them to please not kill themselves and please call this number to ‘talk about it’.

Meanwhile, here’s your feel-good baby seal story of the week. Best part of the article: “It escaped and made its way up to the front of the vehicle, accidentally turning on the radio and ending up on the front seat.” Aww.

Also! Baby bats! Cute! Official.

Holly Golightly’s townhouse from Breakfast at Tiffany’s is up for sale. Yours for just $5.85 million. Cat not supplied.

Breaking news: Demi More is not changing her Twitter account (@MrsKutcher). Repeat: not changing. She delivered the news this week in the snarkiest way possible: "Changing my Twitter name isn't a top priority right now. Sorry it bothers so many of u. Should I not Tweet until I do? Does it really matter?"

The gay penguins have been turned straight and have settled down with nice lady penguins. We feel conflicted.

Remember '80s charity single 'We Are the World'? Here’s the 2011 version of that song – complete with random celebrities highlighting the ‘important issues’. Nice to see Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Diddy, Chris Brown, etc, etc making a difference. If you need us we’ll be out back playing Russian Roulette.

Sinead O’Connor got married in a Vegas drive-through chapel this week. To husband number four. Do you care? No.

Miley Cyrus has denied having breasts implants after showing a lot of, er, breasts at a recent red carpet type deal. “Thank you for the compliment but these babies are all mine,” she Tweeted, before knocking back a hit of salvia and laughing manically for several minutes.

Jessica Simpson has signed $3 million deal with Weight Watchers to help her lose her post-baby-fat. Some people who have never met her (but are ‘experts’) are predicting Jess could pile on as much as 32 kilos during her pregnancy. We have no idea what that actually means, seems like ‘a lot’ though.

Ke$ha’s desperate attempts to remain relevant continue to be desperate. She’s launched a site called putyourbeardinmymouth.tumblr.com dedicated to her ‘obsession’ with eating dude’s beards. 1. That’s not a euphemism, 2. Eww. She’s also recorded a song about said beards to coincide with all this, 'Put Your Beard In My Mouth'. Again, eww. And, please stop.

Does Kris Humphries still love Kim Kardashian? We’re going to take this response as a ‘no’.

Peaches Geldof's is engaged to some dude; 22-year-old Thomas Cohen from UK band S.C.U.M. This will be her second marriage.

Pitchfork has released their Best 100 songs of 2011 list. Click through to argue about the results and shake your head angrily.

In case you haven’t already watched it (which we're sure you have), here’s some Shit Girls Say

Also, is Sacha Baron Cohen still funny? Discuss.

And if you’re still stuck in the office while everyone else is starting their Christmas holidays, here’s a little behind the scenes documentary on Kanye West going back to Chicago, his childhood home, and that kinda stuff.

Gucci Mane is out of jail! Let’s see how long he stays out this time round.

So that’s that. Let’s finishing things up with some cat massaging and George Michael.
The week in Trashbaggery - volume 229
The week in trashbaggery - volume 228
The week in trashbaggery - volume 227
The week in trashbaggery - volume 226
The week in trashbaggery - volume 225
The week in trashbaggery - volume 224
The week in trashbaggery - volume 223
Comments on this Post
There are "3" comment(s) on "The week in trashbaggery one hundred and fourteen"

Respect -Mikolai-
Oh hai, turns out I forgot to embed the Kanye West video link. Here you go > Yeezy Goes back to Chicago
-Mikolai-  -  3 years ago
Reply  |  Report
Respect JiMBOB
Rock of Ages... I cringe for the human race...
JiMBOB  -  3 years ago
Reply  |  Report
Senior Member Em-T
Just read that entire LiLo retrospective with my Editor. Didn't get fired. But we did appreciate the top notch journalism. GOLD.
Em-T  -  3 years ago
Reply  |  Report

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