Beyonce is pregnant! Maybe. Probably. Not really but it could happen. Pick your tabloid/story.
Jean-Claude Van Damme had a heart attack while filming action flick
Weapon. He’s OK and is expected to make more terrible action movies in the future.
You can file this one under ‘inevitable’.
Terry Richardson has shot the cast of
Glee for GQ magazine. The picks are as skeezy as you hoped/expected.
See the entire series here [but maybe not at work].
Adriana Lima + a $2 million dollar Victoria’s Secret bra + ‘getting them out’ = international headlines. Pics in the image gallery.
Penthouse founder
Bob Guccione has died of cancer. He was 79. And incredible rich. And used to sleep upside down because he thought it would make him live longer.
Luke Perry. Still relevant? He certainly proved popular at the recent Dragon Con (nerd fest) where he posed with
pretty much everyone. Dylan would have just driven his Porsche over a cliff and been done with it.
Lindsay Lohan is back in court this week to ask the judge to plz not jail her (again). Plz.
Knut the Polar Bear is being bullied by the lady polar bears in his German zoo. Rather than making ‘sweet, sweet love’ he cowers in his cage and listens to Radiohead records. Zoo keepers think he "suffers from panic attacks” and is
probably a serial killer psychopath.
Steve Jobs is trying to get in
Mark Zuckerberg’s pants. True Story. Apple are crazy rich ($51 billion spare) at the moment and looking to blow some cash, Facebook is on their shopping list. Microsoft’s $15 billion offer has already been turned down so Jobs is gonna have on turn on the charm if he wants to [expletive deleted] Zuckerberg’s [expletive deleted].
Jessica Alba is naked (
via creepy creeps on the internet).
The
sex.com domain name has sold for a robust $13 million.
Kanye West was on
Ellen this week talking about being a “cultural warrior”. Apparently this involves getting diamonds in your grill.
MTV are making a bunch of shitty movies based on their shitty reality TV programs – Teen Mum, Date My Mum, Date my Teen Mum, etc, etc. The logical conclusion to all this is a
Jersey Shore feature film. See you at the preview Jamie!
So
Baz Luhrmann is making a technicolour version of
The Great Gatsby. He’s looking at
Tobey Maguire to play Nick,
Rebecca Hall as Daisy and
Leonardo DiCaprio as Gatsby. Baz gets a lot of hate in this country but this could potentially be really good. Please don’t cock it up. Thx.
Now that he’s not dead from brain leakage,
Bret Michaels has a new, family-based reality TV show on the cards. To celebrate, producers decided to check back on the ladies that appeared in his previous, less family friendly show – Rock of Love – to see what they were doing with themselves. Turns out they’re all now strippers.
Kim Kardashian will show up at your shop and let people take photos of her feigning interest in your products for $40 thousand bucks a throw. Don’t ever change Princess Jasmine.
John Mayer and
Taylor Swift maybe had ‘a thing’. Or so her new song (and pictures of them hanging out, looking cosy) seem to suggest. Here are some sample lyrics from Dear John: "It was wrong / Don't you think nineteen's too young / To be played / By your dark, twisted games / When I loved you so." Can someone please give Mayer a dating show, the guy’s a machine.
So
Christina Aguilera got divorced because of all the lady sexing she was doing on the side. Now she’s hanging out with
Sam Ro. Obviously this means they’re “scissoring”. Thank you classy tabloids.
Janet Jackson is engaged! Huh? Qatar Business bro Wissam Al Mana (35) popped the question, Janet (44) said “sure, whatever”. Dreams do come true! Anyway, here’s some vintage Janet for you.
Jackass 3D has (inexplicably) topped the US box office. We really shouldn’t be encouraging them like this.
Do you want to read a story about
Justin Bieber maybe beating up some kid at a laser tag centre? No? OK. Never mind then.
Elin Nordegren has walked away with $110 million from her divorce with Tiger Woods.
Diplo is hella weird. KO spoke to him a while back and I believe she can confirm the weirdness... Anyways, there’s a little documentary about him currently doing the rounds. He doesn’t talk about smoking PCP with Brazilian hookers in it so this is probably one of those ‘re-branding efforts’.
Apple had an event this week. They launched a bunch of stuff. Life is too short to (re)write Apple Tech news so just
go here if you have a weird kink for operating system updates.
NME have compiled a list of 75 people they think are cool/relevant. You can
look at it here. Or you can not bother once we mention
Mumford and Sons (worst band in the history of the universe and it hurts to even cut/paste there name) are at #11.
Jennifer Aniston's dog is on anti-depressants… It’s just too easy. It really is.
Nicholas Cage has a new movie coming out. Is it going to be incredible? Probably not.
Uma Thurman has been burying her face in cocaine before going out. Either that or her make-up people need to be fired. Pics in the gallery.
Gwyneth Paltrow is now a country singer *sigh* She’s performing her new ‘hit’ song at some country awards . We’re guessing she’s awful to sit next to at dinner parties.
Ruby Rose has made a little promo video for a design collaboration she’s working on. It was shot in LA and is actually pretty OK (which is an awkward way of saying it’s rather good).
Aaaand finally…