Sir Ian McKellan
has prostate cancer. But don't worry, because he isn't. "You do gulp when you hear the news. It’s like when you go for an HIV test... But at my age if it is diagnosed its not life threatening." FUCK YEAH DUMBLEDORE NAILED IT.
of The Wanted (no you've never heard of them) is about to feel the wrath of a menace. When asked if he was sticking it inside Lindsay Lohan,
he responded "No, what's the right word for her? A yeah, a groupie! She is probably hiding in our suitcase right now!" Buddy, don't cross the Lohan.
What about how Paul McCartney
is fronting Nirvana
managed to intellectualise the paparazzi taking a photo of her vagina: "It was obviously an unfortunate incident. It kind of made me sad on two accounts. One was that I was very sad that we live in an age when someone takes a picture of another person in a vulnerable moment and rather than delete it, and do the decent thing, sells it. And I’m sorry that we live in a culture that commodifies sexuality of unwilling participants..." You said it, Catwoman.
continues being a stoner dreamboat.
What song is *definitely* the least sexy ever? 'Hero' by Mariah Carey
? WRONG, YOU NING NONG. Carey's husband Nick Cannon
jerks off to that number all the time. Let's get busy at the pants party.
Bad news: Ice-T
are having issues. Apparently Coco has been acting a little loose in Vegas and there are photos of her with some dude who isn't Ice. Mr Ice-T had this to say on Twitter: "Coco’s in Vegas. She has given me her explanation of the pics on the net from her first weeks out there with some dude. She said he knew someone in the crew from our show and would pop up where ever they would go. He also said he knew me... I don’t know dude... Regardless... They would take Posed pics every time. Most of them disrespectful and in bad taste. She’s made me look... And feel like sh-t." COCO HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU?
's ex-wife and baby mama) is going back to rehab for taking all the Adderall.
is marrying one of his young, blonde girlfriends. We're sure it's true, everlasting and enduring love and they'll live happily ever after and he pleases her sexually.
and Harry Styles
continue breaking the hearts of teenage girls everywhere by holding hands and braiding each other's hair and shit.
Did you see/hear Yoko Ono
's version of Katy Perry
's 'Firework'? I GUESS WE ALL HAVE A NEW WANK ANTHEM, NICK CANNON.
Guys, remember the kitten that Kanye West
gave Kim Kardashian
and then she realised she was allergic so she gave it away? It died. We aren't complete monsters so won't make a joke about a dead kitten. Rest in peace, Mercy the kitty. :(
Do you feel sad about the kitten? Look at this photo of two dudes getting married
and know that everything will be alright.
was hanging out with Terry Richardson
and we genuinely approve of this union. Mazel tov.
went to a party and didn't get drank and also didn't eat the sushi, ergo Jennifer Aniston is
lonely, getting married, getting divorced, is lonely, has an eating disorder, has a drinking problem, is lonely, lonely, lonely,
isn't going to get her boobs out on camera anymore since having a baby. World mourns.
This promo isn't very funny, but we're still 1000000000% sure that BFFs Amy Poehler
and Tina Fey
will be great at hosting the Golden Globes.
Guys, have you seen what being with Ashton Kutcher
is doing to Mila Kunis
? It's like she has contracted sexually transmitted gross from him and there's a lot of sweatpants involved. (See gallery.)
is really adorable and she also apparently gets drunk before TV interviews and we like her.
SOMEBODY WAS PLANNING TO MURDER JUSTIN BIEBER
AND THAT IS THE WORST THING EVER IN THE WORLD THIS WEEK.
Great news friends, Chris Brown
seem to have already broken up again after Brown's ex-boo Karrueche Tran joined him in Paris for his tour. Evidently this is worse than domestic abuse and Rihanna tweeted (then deleted) "Goodbye motherfucker." Then posted an Instagram photo of the words "Examine what you tolerate." Today she tweeted "Never underestimate a man's ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes." GOOD GIRL RIRI STAY STRONG AND SHINE BRITE LIKE-A DYE-MUN.