AND SELENA GOMEZ
BROKE UP! Apparently there were "trust issues" and now J Biebs is turning into Leonardo DiCaprio and flirting with all the Victoria's Secret
models and is dating one of them – specifically Barbara Palvin – and Leo is probably mad about that and OHMYGOD WHAT IS HAPPENING.
Magazine has voted Channing Tatum
the sexiest man alive. LOL.
and Bruce Springsteen
and their wives, Rita Wilson
and Patti Scialfa
, all went on a double date and WE WEREN'T INVITED AND THEY PROBABLY ALL SANG 'BORN TO RUN' TOGETHER AT KARAOKE SO IF ANYBODY NEEDS ME I'LL BE IN MY ROOM.
Remember when The Boss
sang 'Whip My Hair' with Jimmy Fallon
? That was a fun time.
is an artiste and is also extremely modest. On her Les Miserables
audition: "I knew that someone was going to have to go in there and do something pretty special to unseat me."
And, how about that General Petraeus
You guys, Mama Lohan
says she hates drugs. Remember when she and Lindsay had the fight in the car and Lindsay
called her dad and said "Pops! Mum is on heaps of yayo and she's being a jerk and she scratched me and she owes me heaps of cash-money!" and then she said the next day that she'd made the whole thing up? Yeah, Dina Lohan
says that's the correct version of events, ie: the exact opposite of what was reported: "Absolutely lied. We were having an argument, it escalated. She just wanted to hurt me at that moment. You know, mothers [and] daughters, we fight. I hate cocaine. I don't do cocaine. I'm so proud of her for telling the truth... She knew how horrible that was, and she came clean and told the truth that she lied."
Meanwhile, Lindsay pulled out of an interview with Barbara Walters
last minute and decided to appear on Jay Leno
's show instead. Everybody says it's because she doesn't want to answer Walters' hard-hitting questions and would prefer to LOL with Leno.
appeared on Jimmy Fallon
last night and they did this. Cool fun.
is already pregnant again. She gave birth to her first child, Astala, approximately five minutes ago. Mazel tov on your extremely fertile nature, Peaches!
Le ruh roh. Robert De Niro
is mad at Jay-Z
. Apparently Jay was meant to record a song for the Tribeca Film Festival and Mr De Niro called him SIX times and he never called him back. [insert really bad "Hovie's not
home!" joke that we shouldn't have even mentioned] Word is "De Niro kept telling him that he thinks he’s the man, but that he was disrespectful. Beyoncé came over, but that didn’t calm Bob down. It was the talk of the party. Everyone was saying there’s only one star in New York bigger and badder than Jay-Z, and that’s Robert De Niro. He can be quite scary when he’s angry." We know, we've all seen Meet The Parents
Guys, this sucks. Bon Jovi
's 19-year-old daughter Stephanie Bongiovi was arrested at her Upstate New York college after apparently overdosing on heroin. The charges have been dropped, she's in hospital, but she's going to be A-OK. (Also, Bon Jovi has a 19-year-old daughter?!)
Hey America! It's almost Thanksgiving. Let's eat turkey and sing with
Prepare to have your childhood ruined: the author of Mary Poppins
, PL Travers, hated the Disney movie, hated Julie Andrews
(blaspheme!) and hated Dick Van Dyke
(blaspheme squared!) and hated the whole thing so much she put it in her last will and testament that no Americans ever be allowed to create Poppins projects ever again. So says Van Dyke: "She didn't want to do it... She just hated the idea... She hated Julie and she hated me."
Speaking of destroying childhoods, some jerkface tried to ruin the Western world's collective childhood this week. He claimed that the voice of Elmo, Kevin Clash
, did sex on him when he was underage. But you don't fuck with Elmo, and it soon transpired that this guy was just a lying-ass ho-bag.
is naked in GQ and Interview
magazine (with Kate Moss!) and all the time and we can't believe we're saying it but it's getting boring. Wait, no. It's not.
On that note: no word on Chris Brown
this week. But we assume he continues being a douchelord.
HEY! Speaking of douchelords, back to the Lohans
quickly: Father of the Year Michael Lohan
has been confirmed as the father of the child he was accused of fathering back when he was married to Mama Lohan. (ie: this girl was born between kids Lohan fathered with his wife.) Now we just have to sit back and wait for his secret Canadian family to appear.
and Kristen Stewart
have begun their Twighlight: Finally, It's The Last One
premiere attendances and they are all lovey-dovey and arms around one another and we are sure they're happy together and again and it will last forever.
We knew Russell Brand
was a good dude, right? He ran into a homeless guy's trolley full of recyclables and bits and pieces in LA this week, but he pulled over and helped put all of his things back. Happy about that.
Australia hates Melissa George
now. If you weren't aware, now you are. Get hatin' Straya! (Until she wins an Oscar, obvi.)
Long live Our Kylie