Ryan Reynolds and
Blake Lively got married in a secret ceremony last weekend. We're guessing Blake's ex-boyfriend
Leonardo DiCaprio didn't notice because he was knee-deep in blonde Victoria's Secret models at the time (aka all day, erry day). We're also guessing
Jennifer Garner is happy because it means Lively won't send her husband n00dz anymore. But we're guessing Ben Affleck is sad on account of no more nudies. Congratulations, everybody! (Except Ben.)
Speaking of
Leonardo DiCaprio – kind of – remember
Titanic? The one about Billy Zane and a diamond. This super-weird screen-test has emerged in which
Kate Winslet plays opposite
Jeremy Sisto (aka Elton from
Clueless). He wasn't up for the part and was just filling in, but it's like the Titanic sailed to Shelbyville.
More importantly though,
Clueless.
Speaking of
Clueless (here is a segue) and therefore 'Rolling With The Homies' and therefore
Coolio, here's some news. Coolio's son
Grtis Ivey has been sentenced to prison for trashing a Vegas apartment with a friend, who also happens to be a prostitute. SCANDAL! He's awaiting sentencing, but could be in lockdown for a decade. Heavy.
Rihanna got a new tattoo of the goddess Isis. It goes across her sternum/ribs (ie: right under her boobs) and is a dedication to her late grandmother.
Just a day later,
Chris Brown got a tattoo in exactly the same place. It's a jet and spans his boobs/sternum just the same. COINCIDENCE/CONSPIRACY? (See gallery for both.)
Brown also
got a hideous tattoo on his neck that lots of people think look like
RiRi's face after he beat her up. We cannot even believe that is a real life sentence so we're not attempting a joke.
Anyway, everybody thinks
RiRi said 'I hate these assholes" when
Drake and
Lil Wayne won a VMA the other night. She also didn't applaud. Thoughts, feelings?
Word is
James Franco was chatting up
Kristen Stewart at TIFF. The exchanged numbers and he made her LOL. Whatever, she is still always wearing
Rob Pattinson's tee-shirts, sweaters, caps, miscellaneous. We will not let their love die! NEVAIRRR! #neverforget
You guys, you know
the mum from Honey Boo Boo? She is 32 years old. 32.
Honey Boo Boo pls.
Surprise!
Tara Reid is/was drunk again. Somebody needs to start looking after that girl. If you see her, give her a hug.
Meanwhile, if any of you are still worried about
Macauley Culkin, don't fret. Homeboy has been out and about in New York looking healthy and is about to open an exhibition of his art this week.
This is nice, you guys. Apparently
Nas and
Kelis are trying to be buddies after their super-nasty (you're welcome) divorce. Hooray! Now if only we can get them back together...
You wonder why
Lindsay Lohan is a little unhinged? Her parents fight in the media constantly and this:
Britney Spears' old security guard tried suing her, but
BritBrit convinced him to settle. Homeboy says that Britney sexually harassed him by intentionally dropping her cigarette lighter and bending over to pick it up – exposing her Brits and pieces. Sounds like a fucking stitch up. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE. PLEASE. (Retro LOL!)
Nick Cassavetes (
The Notebook, The Astronaut's Wife, The Hangover II, Face/Off) made a big mistake when saying he thinks gay marriage is a good thing. He said: "Who gives a shit if people judge you? I'm not saying this is an absolute but in a way, if you're not having kids -- who gives a damn? ... If it’s your brother or sister it’s super-weird, but if you look at it, you’re not hurting anybody." So now everybody thinks he believes incest is A-OK and is akin to homosexual/lesbian relationships. Oopsie daisy!
There is no
Kim Kardashian and
Kanye news this week other than they went to some fashion shows together. THAT'S IT. (Don't worry, we already took a Xanax. You want one?)
Rapper
Juvenile says he's not guilty regarding his charge of disorderly conduct after his arrest for being part of a nighclub brawl. We do not condone nightclub brawls, but we do condone this Juvenile song.
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