and Blake Lively
got married in a secret ceremony last weekend. We're guessing Blake's ex-boyfriend Leonardo DiCaprio
didn't notice because he was knee-deep in blonde Victoria's Secret models at the time (aka all day, erry day). We're also guessing Jennifer Garner
is happy because it means Lively won't send her husband n00dz anymore. But we're guessing Ben Affleck is sad on account of no more nudies. Congratulations, everybody! (Except Ben.)
Speaking of Leonardo DiCaprio
– kind of – remember Titanic
? The one about Billy Zane and a diamond. This super-weird screen-test has emerged in which Kate Winslet
plays opposite Jeremy Sisto
(aka Elton from Clueless
). He wasn't up for the part and was just filling in, but it's like the Titanic sailed to Shelbyville.
More importantly though, Clueless
Speaking of Clueless
(here is a segue) and therefore 'Rolling With The Homies' and therefore Coolio
, here's some news. Coolio's son Grtis Ivey
has been sentenced to prison for trashing a Vegas apartment with a friend, who also happens to be a prostitute. SCANDAL! He's awaiting sentencing, but could be in lockdown for a decade. Heavy.
got a new tattoo of the goddess Isis. It goes across her sternum/ribs (ie: right under her boobs) and is a dedication to her late grandmother.
Just a day later, Chris Brown
got a tattoo in exactly the same place. It's a jet and spans his boobs/sternum just the same. COINCIDENCE/CONSPIRACY? (See gallery for both.)
got a hideous tattoo on his neck that lots of people think look like RiRi's
face after he beat her up. We cannot even believe that is a real life sentence so we're not attempting a joke.
Anyway, everybody thinks RiRi
said 'I hate these assholes" when Drake
and Lil Wayne
won a VMA the other night. She also didn't applaud. Thoughts, feelings?
Word is James Franco
was chatting up Kristen Stewart
at TIFF. The exchanged numbers and he made her LOL. Whatever, she is still always wearing Rob Pattinson
's tee-shirts, sweaters, caps, miscellaneous. We will not let their love die! NEVAIRRR! #neverforget
You guys, you know the mum from Honey Boo Boo
? She is 32 years old. 32. Honey Boo Boo
Surprise! Tara Reid
is/was drunk again. Somebody needs to start looking after that girl. If you see her, give her a hug.
Meanwhile, if any of you are still worried about Macauley Culkin
, don't fret. Homeboy has been out and about in New York looking healthy and is about to open an exhibition of his art this week.
This is nice, you guys. Apparently Nas
are trying to be buddies after their super-nasty (you're welcome) divorce. Hooray! Now if only we can get them back together...
You wonder why Lindsay Lohan
is a little unhinged? Her parents fight in the media constantly and this:
' old security guard tried suing her, but BritBrit
convinced him to settle. Homeboy says that Britney sexually harassed him by intentionally dropping her cigarette lighter and bending over to pick it up – exposing her Brits and pieces. Sounds like a fucking stitch up. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE. PLEASE. (Retro LOL!)
(The Notebook, The Astronaut's Wife, The Hangover II, Face/Off
) made a big mistake when saying he thinks gay marriage is a good thing. He said: "Who gives a shit if people judge you? I'm not saying this is an absolute but in a way, if you're not having kids -- who gives a damn? ... If it’s your brother or sister it’s super-weird, but if you look at it, you’re not hurting anybody." So now everybody thinks he believes incest is A-OK and is akin to homosexual/lesbian relationships. Oopsie daisy!
There is no Kim Kardashian
news this week other than they went to some fashion shows together. THAT'S IT. (Don't worry, we already took a Xanax. You want one?)
says he's not guilty regarding his charge of disorderly conduct after his arrest for being part of a nighclub brawl. We do not condone nightclub brawls, but we do condone this Juvenile song.