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The week in trashbaggery - volume 139

22 JUN 2012 | Posted By: Katie

The week in trashbaggery - volume 139

Ashton Kutcher
Chris Brown
Johnny Depp
Johnny Depp
Kanye and Kim
Kanye and Kim
Kanye and Kim
Kim and Kanye
Kim Kardashian
Ladies, start your engines (by "engines" we mean "vaginas") because Johnny Depp is, indeed, a single man. That said, he ain't no Officer Tom Hanson anymore. 

...Apparently he is already sticking it in Amber Heard. But isn't she gay and dating that artist lady?

Rihanna and Chris Brown and Drake are all in some bizarre/gross love triangle (nto to mention Meek Mill) and everybody seems OK with it. Except CB's pops! He said: "I do not condone everything that goes on with Chris, but I love my son with all my being… He can make his own decisions. But, as a concerned parent, I would rather they not have any involvement... He said 'We are friends, and that’s the extent of it.' But when you're that emotionally involved with someone and have a history, it could cause problems. Sometimes you need to cut the strings and move beyond the past." MAD WISDOM FROM PAPA BROWN.

...Also, because we said "bizarre love triangle" now this is trapped in our mind-tank. And yours too. (LOL! IT'S THE FRENTE VERSION!)

Nicki Minaj's booty was too big to fit on a bike seat. She was in Amsterdam and had to get a special seat made for her bottom. Evidently, she is still a thing. But her bum is more of a thing. 

Can somebody please start a Tumblr that documents the differences between Kim Kardashian's pre-Kanye and current day Kanye-styled fashions?

Speaking of Kimmy, Yeezy apparently wants to create a record composed entirely of animal noises. (HAHAHA! Sick burn, Kardashian!)

Srsly tho, we support their union 10000000% and so does Oprah:

Kim's ex-hubby Kris Humphries has been saying that Mama Kardashian directed the sex-tape that Kimmy and (Brandy's brother) Ray J boned in, but made them re-shoot it because the original one wasn't "pretty enough". We believe a lot of shit, but this is just fucking dumb. Like your b-ball team, Humphries. (HAHAHA Sick burn, Humphries!)

Alec Baldwin punched a paparazzo bro in the face. So all that yoga is doing wonders for his rage issues. 

Russell Brand says that if he were gay, he'd want to date Alec: "If I was gonna be gay I'd like Alex Baldwin to be my boyfriend because he'd take care of me. If you had Alec as your boyfriend and a burglar gets in, you'd go, 'Alec there's a fucking burglar downstairs, mate. This is your one, I'll do the breakfast."

Somebody actually married Bobby Brown. Like, recently. Imagine if you peaked during pre-pubescence? Poor Bobby. 

How about that video of the cunty school kids making their 68-year-old bus monitor, Karen Klein, cry? We cannot actually embed it because it's too rotten. People are the worst. :(

On a much lighter (but still messed up) note: did you guys see what Woody Allen and Mia Farrow's son Tweeted on Father's Day? He threw down "Happy father's day – or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law's day." LOL/EWW.

Diane Kruger and Pacey continue being a dignified celebrity couple.

Mila Kunis said "I appreciate the attention but I don't think of myself as particularly attractive at all." Then the world started spinning the other way because this shit is backwards. 

You've probably all seen this, but Ryan Gosling was a precocious little nugget and danced to C&C Music Factory in a disturbingly saucy way as a child.

Emma Stone is still dating your boyfriend Andrew Garfield. Whadda jerk. / Andrew Garfield is still dating your girlfriend Emma Stone. Whadda jerk. 

Olivia Wilde is still dating your boyfriend Jason Sudeikis. Whadda jerk. / Jason Sudeikis is still dating your girlfriend Olivia Wilde. Whadda jerk. 

Agyness Deyn
married Giovanni Ribisi in a surprise wedding this weekend. Now here is some six-degrees shit: Ribisi used to date Cat Power and is the brother of Marissa Ribisi (from Dazed and Confused) who is married to Beck. All we can say about this is, "Farewell Aggy, you're Scientology's now. Miss you, BB!"

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher might be getting back together. Nobody cares. 

Guys, don't do drugs

Follow @katiealiceolsen.
The week in Trashbaggery - volume 229
The week in trashbaggery - volume 228
The week in trashbaggery - volume 227
The week in trashbaggery - volume 226
The week in trashbaggery - volume 225
The week in trashbaggery - volume 224
The week in trashbaggery - volume 223
Comments on this Post
There are "2" comment(s) on "The week in trashbaggery - volume 139"

Senior Member SineadStubbins
SineadStubbins  -  2 years ago
Reply  |  Report
Respect fujiko-san
NO DOUBT! She actually looks good and not like an extra from Jersey Shores.
fujiko-san  -  2 years ago

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