Ladies, start your engines (by "engines" we mean "vaginas") because Johnny Depp
is, indeed, a single man. That said, he ain't no Officer Tom Hanson anymore.
...Apparently he is already sticking it in Amber Heard
. But isn't she gay and dating that artist lady?
and Chris Brown
are all in some bizarre/gross love triangle (nto to mention Meek Mill) and everybody seems OK with it. Except CB's pops! He said: "I do not condone everything that goes on with Chris, but I love my son with all my being… He can make his own decisions. But, as a concerned parent, I would rather they not have any involvement... He said 'We are friends, and that’s the extent of it.' But when you're that emotionally involved with someone and have a history, it could cause problems. Sometimes you need to cut the strings and move beyond the past." MAD WISDOM FROM PAPA BROWN
...Also, because we said "bizarre love triangle" now this is trapped in our mind-tank. And yours too. (LOL! IT'S THE FRENTE
's booty was too big to fit on a bike seat. She was in Amsterdam and had to get a special seat made for her bottom. Evidently, she is still a thing. But her bum is more of a thing.
Can somebody please start a Tumblr that documents the differences between Kim Kardashian
and current day Kanye-styled fashions?
Speaking of Kimmy
apparently wants to create a record composed entirely of animal noises. (HAHAHA! Sick burn, Kardashian!)
Srsly tho, we support their union 10000000% and so does Oprah
's ex-hubby Kris Humphries
has been saying that Mama Kardashian
directed the sex-tape that Kimmy
and (Brandy's brother) Ray J
boned in, but made them re-shoot it because the original one wasn't "pretty enough". We believe a lot of shit, but this is just fucking dumb. Like your b-ball team, Humphries. (HAHAHA Sick burn, Humphries!)
punched a paparazzo bro in the face. So all that yoga is doing wonders for his rage issues.
says that if he were gay, he'd want to date Alec
: "If I was gonna be gay I'd like Alex Baldwin to be my boyfriend because he'd take care of me. If you had Alec as your boyfriend and a burglar gets in, you'd go, 'Alec there's a fucking burglar downstairs, mate. This is your one, I'll do the breakfast."
Somebody actually married Bobby Brown
. Like, recently. Imagine if you peaked during pre-pubescence? Poor Bobby.
How about that video of the cunty school kids making their 68-year-old bus monitor, Karen Klein
, cry? We cannot actually embed it because it's too rotten. People are the worst. :(
On a much lighter (but still messed up) note: did you guys see what Woody Allen
and Mia Farrow
's son Tweeted on Father's Day? He threw down "Happy father's day – or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law's day." LOL/EWW.
continue being a dignified celebrity couple.
said "I appreciate the attention but I don't think of myself as particularly attractive at all." Then the world started spinning the other way because this shit is backwards.
You've probably all seen this, but Ryan Gosling
was a precocious little nugget and danced to C&C Music Factory
in a disturbingly saucy way as a child.
is still dating your boyfriend Andrew Garfield.
Whadda jerk. / Andrew Garfield
is still dating your girlfriend Emma Stone
. Whadda jerk.
is still dating your boyfriend Jason Sudeikis
. Whadda jerk. / Jason Sudeikis
is still dating your girlfriend Olivia Wilde
. Whadda jerk.
married Giovanni Ribisi
in a surprise wedding this weekend.
Now here is some six-degrees shit: Ribisi used to date Cat Power
and is the brother of Marissa Ribisi
(from Dazed and Confused) who is married to Beck
. All we can say about this is, "Farewell Aggy, you're Scientology's now. Miss you, BB!"
and Ashton Kutcher
might be getting back together. Nobody cares.
Guys, don't do drugs