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The week in trashbaggery - volume 122

24 FEB 2012 | Posted By: Katie

The week in trashbaggery - volume 122

Destiny Jones's condoms
Drew Barrymore
Jennifer Aniston
Kelis and Nas
Paris Hilton
Rihanna and Chris Brown
Stephen Dorff
Stephen Dorff and GF
Zac Efron
This guy, CM Punk (a WWE legend), wants to beat up Chris Brown, because Chris Brown started a twitter feud with him. "I will choke you out, and I will make you feel as weak and powerless and scared and alone as any woman that has had the misfortune of knowing a sad, cowardly little boy such as yourself." TAKE THAT.

We should maybe rename today's column The Week in Chris Brown Douchery:

stole a fan's phone after she took a photo of him in Miami. He apparently said "Bitch, you ain't putting that on no website." A step up from his previous pick-up lines.

In other news: Brown and his girlfriend, model Karrueche Tran, have an open relationship and she doesn't mind. OF COURSE SHE DOESN'T MIND, SHE IS TOO SCARED HE WILL BITE HER ON THE FACE.

and Brown did covers/remixes of each others songs this week. Everybody felt really icky about that. Except them. Have you ever read the official record of events of Brown's attack on Rihanna? It is fucked up. :(

Also, these remixes have made me not want to eat cake. :(

Also, what would Jay-Z say?!

Also, we think Rihanna should go back and date Drizzy.

Oh, did somebody say Drake? Flimsy segue, but we dun care:

Drew Barrymore might be pregnant, you guys! Don't you think she'd be a great mama? The only answer to this is: FUCK YEAH.

Speaking of parenting, Nas's daughter Destiny has tweeted a bunch of photos. One is of her white Benz that she named Cocaine and another of a jewelled box full of condoms that sits next to her bed. (Images in the gallery.) Destiny Jones is of consenting age, so we'd like to applaud her for promoting safe sex. PS. Love you too, Nas.

Also promoting safe sex (albeit by mistake) is Zac Efron, who dropped a condom on the red carpet. He LOL'd. We LOL'd. Go get laid, ya handsome devil!

Apparently Stephen Dorff is a jerk. He allegedly sent his (ex?) GF – a British reality TV personality – a text message saying "You need to go back to England in a box." This upsets my 13-year-old self greatly. (Images of the couple in the gallery.)

Jennifer Aniston has apparently hinted at a Friends movie. And then said it's not happening. Look at all the fucks we give:

Justin Theroux is handsome, breakdances and is a good sport. We believe this footage proves Jennifer Aniston isn't the boring, beige zero that the media likes to paint her as.

Things that still appear to be things: Kreayshawn. "I’m like, a person who likes love. And I can find love in any type of person. I’ve dated girls, and I’ve liked girls. But they’re usually straight girls, so it never works out. I mean, I’m not that gay, so I don’t have the energy to convince someone else to be gay, you know?" Way to remain relevant, beb. :/

Delta Goodrem and Nick Jonas broke up. We could/should make a joke about their age difference, but we already zoned out at the mention of Delta Goodrem.

Do you want to see Kate Upton dance?

Um, did anybody know that Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake are engaged? Apparently she wants him to sign a pre-nup that says "You dick anybody else, I get half a milli." Oh, Jessica. Go make a movie or something.

And, now for the epitome of The Week in Trashbaggery, a spoken word song by Paris Hilton about drunk texting. BEHOLD! (Points for being a billion years behind on the phrase "sexting", but explaining it to us anyway. LOL GOOD 1 PARIS.)
The week in Trashbaggery - volume 229
The week in trashbaggery - volume 228
The week in trashbaggery - volume 227
The week in trashbaggery - volume 226
The week in trashbaggery - volume 225
The week in trashbaggery - volume 224
The week in trashbaggery - volume 223
Comments on this Post
There are "2" comment(s) on "The week in trashbaggery - volume 122"

New Lounger superfreak
Ugh, jesus Paris. CM Punk rules. Give him one for me killer.
superfreak  -  3 years ago
Reply  |  Report
Respect Katie
Oh god, thank you! It's very stressful attempting to fill Mikolai's shoes.
Katie  -  3 years ago

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