Australian model and Victoria's Secret darling Miranda Kerr has rid herself of Orlando Bloom to score with Brandon Davis, a man who appears to have the intelligence of a canary, the sense of humour of a simple 12-year-old and the looks of a pedophile, covered in extra creep, covered in extra grease. Vomit. Everywhere.
Davis, an oil heir, is best known for hanging out with Paris Hilton, drink driving, hurling abuse (of the sexist, racist and revolting variety) at people like Wilmer Valderrama and Lindsay Lohan, and sweating profusely. So maybe the gods are fair; they give you cash but not funnies, the funnies but not the beauty, or in Miss Kerr's case; beauty times a billion, but the smarts? Not so much.
To explain just how amazing Davis is, we have an old video of him in which he says witty things like how Lindsay Lohan's coochie smells like diarrhoea and that she's worth seven million dollars "which means she's really poor". Charming.
Brandon Davis being a fucktard:
Oh Miranda, what have you done?
Via
dlisted.com.