So Jessica Simpson is gracing the cover of Vanity Fair. And I’m a bit perplexed. Vanity Fair to me is a world unto its own with people on the front cover that, usually, seem to deserve it. Like Obama, Tina Fey, and, um, Julia Roberts.
Now I can understand if Jess was at the height of her career, when she was all Newlywedding with that guy from that boy band, but isn’t it a known fact that she’s kind of on the way down? With her last album selling a staggering 200 thousand copies and her last gig being at Uncle Chuck’s Strawberry farm or some shit, I’m not thinking she’s got much to brag about. And people on Vanity Fair covers ALWAYS have something to brag about.
And the headline. Which goes a little something like this: "'You call this FAT?' Jessica Simpson pulls off the ‘Mom jeans’ and fights back." Um, what the fuck? Did someone at Cleo get drunk and stumble into the Vanity Fair offices and start fucking around with the cover? And no-one noticed until it was too late?
Vanity Fair, you’ve let me down.