Soft drink commercials from the 1980s and '90s are amazing. Maybe it's something about the bubbles or the speedy intake of sugar, but for some reason they take a weirdly surreal and sexual route in selling cans.
Cindy Crawford, Shaq, MC Hammer and a flaming saxophone are all waiting for you:
Coca-Cola, 1990.
Moment: Matt Le Blanc grabbing a giant picture from a billboard and drinking it.
Pepsi, 1980s
Moment: 17-year-old Sofia Vegara. Yup.
7-Up, 1982
Moment: A stranger forcing a child to consume "a new drink... you'll like it".
Pepsi, 1990s
Moment: "Is that a great new Pepsi can or what?"
7-Up, 1990s
Moment: This ad was banned for being overly sexual, so all the moments.
Fanta, 1980s
Moment: The human kebabs.
Fanta, 1992
Moment: Mickey Mouse going to a Fanta club where women are dancing on tables.
Pepsi, 1993
Moment: The kid telling off Shaq.
Cherry 7-Up, 1990s
Moment: Matt Le Blanc handing a sixer of Cherry 7-Up to his friend, and then his friend smiling and zooming away in his sports car. Is there amyl in that Cherry 7-Up?
Pepsi, 1990
Moment: MC Hammer losing his cool after drinking a Coke and some kid saying "YO HAMMER!" and handing him a Pepsi.
Diet Coke, 1986
Moment: Whitney Houston, the guy bursting from the hay bail, the saxophone with flames coming out of it, the guy refusing to go out in the rain. EVERYTHING.
Coke, 1990s
Moment: A single Coke moving Whitney Houston to sing "Greatest Love At All" and bring a kid on stage. By the way, is that blonde guy in the crowd a young Ryan Gosling??
Pepsi, 1983
Moment: Michael Jackson singing "you're the Pepsi, generation" to "Billie Jean is, not my lover" and a group dance involving children.
Coca-Cola, 1993
Moment: Cameron Diaz is in it. That's the only part we really understand.
Pepsi, 1989
Moment: Pepsi begged Madonna to launch "Like a Prayer" on their ad. They payed her a zillion dollars and it looks cool.
Pepsi, 1996
Moment: A university of Cindy Crawfords. Because Pepsi can do that.