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Ten reasons Aladdin should be an adult film

27 SEP 2012 | Posted By: SineadStubbins

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Ten reasons Aladdin should be an adult film

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Can you hear that? That low, grinding noise that signifies the agonizing passing of time? It's probably because next month marks twenty years since the release of Disney's Aladdin. That's right– you're old!



Looking back at Aladdin, there's a lot of themes that aren't exactly PG. In fact if Aladdin had been live action, it probably would have won Best Picture and starred Gary Oldman and Meryl Streep.

Here are ten themes that prove that Aladdin should be an adult film:

Racial tension in the Middle East
"Where they cut off your ear if they don't like your face".


Capital punishment

Jafar lies to Jasmine and says that Aladdin has been "executed". And everyone is all, "yeah that's sad, but fair enough. He did steal a loaf of bread, the most valuable substance in Agrabah".
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Homelessness
We don't know why Aladdin is a "street rat", he's not the only one. DUDE CANNOT EVEN AFFORD A SHIRT. Lucky he has rippling abs/ a cumberbund.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Slavery, it's someone else's problem

The Genie is enslaved by the lamp. Aladdin learns this, commiserates with him and then says "Grant my wishes muthafugger".


Bestiality

We're all thinking it.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Homicide
Murder is so commonplace in Agrabah, that no one even bats an eyelid when the King's soldiers are chasing people through the village with giant-ass knives. A dude eats eaten by a cave lion and Jafar is like "Right, who else can I kill in imaginative ways?". If you're not a diamond in the rough shit can get dangerous.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Princess Jasmine is a sex slave.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Any questions?

Animal slavery
So you can't afford a house, but you can afford a highly trained monkey who steals from small business owners? Sure Aladdin. Sure.


Arranged marriages to much older men

Because it's the "law".
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Mile high club

There is no way that Jasmine and Aladdin did not bone on that magic carpet. A whole new world indeed!
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