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Lifelounge guide to the law

10 JUN 2012 | Posted By: Marisa

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Lifelounge guide to the law

Lifelounge guide to the law
 
Lifelounge guide to the law
 
Lifelounge guide to the law
 
Lifelounge guide to the law
 
Lifelounge guide to the law
 
Lifelounge guide to the law
 
Lifelounge guide to the law
 
Lifelounge guide to the law
 
Lifelounge guide to the law
 
Lifelounge guide to the law
It's crazy to think that until fairly recently, homosexuality in Australia was illegal. South Australia was the first jurisdiction in the country to decriminalise homosexuality in 1975, which when you think about it is not long ago at all.

The craziness of the thought that being gay in our country was akin to committing a crime made us think about all sorts of other ridiculous laws that are still in existence. A quick search will bring up a whole heap of them, so here a 10 laws we wish to bring to your attention as part of the Lifelounge guide to the law.

It is forbidden to wear pink hot pants past noon on Sundays

Apparently this is the law as dictated by the great Australian state of Victoria. We're not sure of a) where it comes from, or; b) if it's true, but it sounds pretty legit to ban that kind of crime against fashion.



Do not wear black clothes with black shoe polish on your face
Yet another unverified Australian law, but Internet folklore has it that it is illegal to wear black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face, as these are the tools of the cat burglar.

No driving dogs or goats allowed; slaughtering beasts also banned
So this one is actually true. Word for word according to Victoria's Summary Offences Act 1966: Any person who "drives a dog or goat harnessed or attached to a vehicle in or through a public place shall be guilty of an offence". Also be warned those persons who wish to "slaughter or skin a beast on a public road or thoroughfare": that's a big no-no too.

No visual capturing of privates or buttholes either
Summary Offences Act 1966, what a doozy. It definitely makes sense for this provision to exist, but reading it in formal legal terms is pretty funny. There is to be no intentional 'capturing' (i.e. photographing?) of a person's genitals or anal region unless it is reasonable to think that the subject expects it. In a modern context: no upskirts allowed.





Boogers in the wind and fake moustaches

In the southern US state of Alabama, it is unlawful to flick boogers into the wind. Wearing a fake moustache into a church and having it cause laughter is also prohibited. It is however legal to marry your first cousin!

Dildos were once illegal in Texas; now welcomed
In 1979 some lawmaker in Texas was so offended by dildos that the state passed a law that made it illegal to sell, lend, give, distribute or advertise anything deemed an "obscene device". As described by the Texas Penal Code, that meant any product "designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs". This law was finally overturned in 2008 and declared by the US Circuit Court of Appeals to be unconstitutional, on the grounds of it being intrusive to citizens' right to privacy. Masturbating with an extra hand is now OK!

Giving your pet cigars is not OK
In Zion, Illinois it is illegal to offer dogs, cats "or any other animals kept as pets" a lit cigar. (Apparently there is no mention of any other items, such as cigarettes or doobies.) And what if it's a chimp? Are smoking chimps considered kosher?



Peeing in a policeman's hat is OK

In the UK, being pregnant apparently (note: operative word being 'apparently') gives you free reign in terms of where you want to pee. Even if it's inside a policeman's helmet, if requested.

The penalty for dying is dying
That is apparently the law in the state of New York (creepily another state allowing marriage between first cousins), where jumping off a building is punishable by death. Seems fair.
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