"I'll stretch my stomach until it causes internal bleeding,"
– Don "Moses" Lerman, world competitive eating champion.
That shit is disgusting. But we're not going to go all Ryan Reynolds
on you and rant about the gluttony of Americans, and "what gigantically wasteful, fucking super-retards we all are
". That pretty much goes without saying, right?
Instead we're going to list a few of the more interesting competitive eating competitions (as sanctioned by the International League of Competitive Eaters) and discover the meanings of 'chipmunking' and 'reversal'. Be prepared.
Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest
Each year on the boardwalk of Coney Island, people stuff their faces with sausages and buns. The winner this year? Joey Chesnut from California, ranked #1 Eater in the world. He ate 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes.
The Krystal Square Off or The World Hamburger Eating Championship
Did you know that in this competition they take the pickles out of the burgers to minimize the risk of choking? And in 2010 the competition was cancelled, because Krystal wanted to "change their marketing focus"? Surprisingly, having people regurgitate their burgers wasn't a great advertising ploy. WHADDYAKNO!
Peanut Butter & Banana Sandwich Competition
To commemorate the death of Elvis Presley, people flock to Biloxi and stuff their faces with gooey, disgusting sandwiches. This year's winner ate 31 sandwiches in 10 minutes.The pictures will make you barf. THE END.
Pizza Hut Pizza Eating Chow-lenge
A contest held in 2010 to settle a feud between Joey Chesnut and Pat Bertoletti. Bertoletti only ate 36 slices to Chesnut's 41. Chesnut is a disgusting, weirdly thin machine.
Just as disgusting as it sounds.
World Hands Free Pumpkin Pie eating contest
Contestants have to eat a pie "picnic style" ie. shove it in their face. The organiser of this event is called Dave "Coondog" O'Karma.
Ham N' Eggs Eating Competition
Run by Spike TV as half-time entertainment during the Super Bowl, it involves people eating multitudes of ham and eggs. Can't find a video, here's something better:
TooJay’s World Class Corned Beef Eating Championship
JOEY CHESNUT, STOP FUCKING ENTERING THESE COMPETITIONS!!
Hooters World Wing-Eating Championship
Hot girls, hot wings, and a whole bunch of grimy, soul destroying contestants.
Acme Oyster Eating World Championship