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A guide to celebrity fitness videos

07 DEC 2010 | Posted By: Em-T

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A guide to celebrity fitness videos

Alyssa Milano's Teen Steam
 
Arnie's Fitness Video
 
Carmen Electra's Strip Aerobic
 
Cher Fitness
 
Cindy Exercise
 
Claudia Schiffer's The Body
 
Complete Workout
 
Fabio Fitness
 
Fabio spruiking fake butter
 
Girl of the Playboy Mansion
Groan. Apparently fitness fads are back on the agenda. A new survey of exercise trends recently showed that "boot camp is hot whilst pilates is not", with lots of people preferring regimented classes rather than, like, walking. Swinging your vagina around a room full of plus-40 fatties is also apparently quite popular, with highly publicised work-out fads such as Zumba reaching their peak.

However, for those of us that prefer the "model diet" (apples, cigarettes and laxatives), all these new fads may just seem like a lot of unnecessary sweat, tears and hard work. They also make one nostalgic for a time when fitness meant plonking yourself on the couch with a video cassette of your favourite B-Grade celebrity. The lessons we've learnt off them in the last few decades are invaluable... and none of needed to involve actual exercise.

Here are some of the better ways that celebrities have taught us to get fit. Just watch those calories melt away....

FRIENDSHIP
Having a bad day? Duh. Being sixteen can be so hard. Whether it's because you've got too much homework, a bad report card, or no babysitting jobs lined up for the weekend, Alyssa Milano suggests you simply call your friends "and work it out together". Laugh all you will about Teen Steam's fitness credentials... but bets are it helped a lot of teenage boys work out their right hands.



PHOTOSHOP
Those pounds not melting away as fast as you wish? Take your cat, Snowy, for a brisk thirty minute walk, says Brenda Dickson. Failing that, you could always superimpose your body upon somebody else's...



STRIPTEASE

Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease is most definitely all about the fitness.



MURDER

Are your triceps not as defined as they used to be? O.J. Simpson would suggest you stab your wife a few times in a severe downwards motion. He shot this video, Minimum Fitness For Men, just before he "didn't" kill his wife and her lover. He has a "pretty simple game plan" for the man who wants to combat middle-age-spread: work out, eat smarter, sweat a little, and get a good lawyer. Most creepy is this out-take video which was subpoenead by the U.S. court for a character assessment into his mental health.



TURN BACK TIME
Cher is renowned for her inability to succumb to gravity. The pop-star's physique has gone pretty much unchanged since the release of her fitness video A New Attitude in the early nineties. Disregarding that's she's now completely made out of plastic, this fact obviously speaks volumes about the potential of her exercise regime.



DIG GOLD
Just look at those boobs... definitely the result of mutiple chest presses. Admittedly, we were completely addicted to Girls of the Playboy Mansion for about four years straight and almost purchased this workout series presented by the three bunnies.



HAIR SWISHING

For best results, combine this workout with a daily serving of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.



TWIST
Yaaaaaaaay! Elmo.



BUY A DOG
Studies show that people who own dogs live fitter, healthier, more fruitful lives. It appears that Californian-born model Mariko Takahashi would agree with this. Whilst its Japanese roots make it borderline believable, this short-film is actually a word-for-word parody of a fitness video by mid-'90s self-help sensation Susan Powter, who infamously wore fake muscle suits to make herself look buff.

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Comments on this Post
There are "12" comment(s) on "A guide to celebrity fitness videos"

Respect Jamie
Man, as gay as Fabio is, he must have lived a crazy life, he's like a living cliché.... I kinda respect that, in a really confused kind of way.
Jamie  -  3 years ago
Reply  |  Report
Senior Member Em-T


Yes, and he never sold out....
Em-T  -  3 years ago
Respect Jamie
I never said he didn't sell out!! That's a part of the cliché!
Jamie  -  3 years ago
Reply  |  Report
Senior Member Em-T
Valid point. I think the Butter commercials add to his allure.
Em-T  -  3 years ago
Respect JiMBOB


super model...
JiMBOB  -  3 years ago
Respect Katie
Brenda Dickson: class squared.
Katie  -  3 years ago
Reply  |  Report
Senior Member Em-T
How good's the photoshop job she does?
Em-T  -  3 years ago
Respect Jamie
lol
Jamie  -  3 years ago
Respect -Mikolai-
also lol
-Mikolai-  -  3 years ago
Respect -Mikolai-
Meanwhile, I've somehow ended up with a Kim Kardashian workout video (I believe I won it at some charity event - honest). It just sits there in my DVD collection waiting for people to come along and go "wtf dude?" I can't sell it, can't even give it way. I think I might slip it in someones bag in the city when they're not looking - like reverse pick-pocketing.
-Mikolai-  -  3 years ago
Respect Katie
I have three of them, Mikolai! Promo copies. Can you re-gift them too?
Katie  -  3 years ago
Respect -Mikolai-
Good idea, KO. I'm gonna Kris Kringle the DVD to some poor bastard in the office.
-Mikolai-  -  3 years ago
Reply  |  Report

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