Next time you complain about your uni homework maybe you should ask yourself if you’re doing the right course. Georgetown University has introduced a new class into their curriculum called The Sociology of Hip-Hop – Urban Theodicy of Jay-Z
. Students will be actually sitting in a class, taking notes and discussing Jay-Z. Yes, your life sucks.
It may sound a bit wishy-washy, but think of all the things there are to talk about. His contribution to hip hop, his success as an entrepreneur, his rad cover of ‘Wonderwall’ at Glastonbury in 2008... the list goes on.
Before you jump on a plane to the United States, we’ve compiled a list of some lessons you need to brush up on before you take your first test. You don’t want to embarrass yourself do you?
Never forget where you came from. A tough upbringing will keep you down to earth, then you can earn your millions of dollars. And then a zillion more than that.
Don’t respect The Man. If a label doesn’t sign you, start your own. If they nominate you for a Grammy, don’t show up. (But many years later go back with all your friends / millions of dollars and show them what a boss you’ve become.)
Create distractions. Accidentally stab some dude in a club? Dodge the pen by releasing a hit single that everyone loves. You don’t how it works, but it just does.
Don’t reject commercial success. People may criticise you for going mainstream, but you can worry about them while you bathe in Cristal. Or whatever.
Feud. Beef is great for promo and record sales. But don’t keep it going for too long; make sure that one of your 99 problems isn’t getting shot.
Pursue the biggest babe in the music industry (possibly the world). What’s waiting ten years when you get to see the 'Single Ladies' dance performed in your kitchen every day?
Don’t be misogynistic, but don’t be sappy. Balance the continual use of the word “bitch” with complimentary things like “ladies is pimps too”. Plus if anyone doubts you, refer them to your amazing wife who not only makes the $crilla, but would be able to kick you in the face and kill you if you sassed her.
Have a hobby. And when basketball season is over, start caring about politics.
Make powerful/talented/famous friends. Hang out with with them and talk about how hard it is to be rich.
Be cool. That’s probably something you can’t learn. A wise man once rapped, “You can pay for school, but you can’t buy class."