You know what musicians love doing more than making music (or babies)? They love to get naked. They just fucking love it.
But they don't just chose any old time to get naked, you know? It has to be carefully thought out, planned and executed at the exact right moment. We've outlined the five ways that musicians like to get naked in this day and age, not including accidental papparazzi photos or red carpet mishaps (because we're classy like that).
Here is the Lifelounge guide to musicians getting naked:
1. The album cover
The album cover is the perfect place to appear naked for your "art" while having the ability to Photoshop yourself into a completely new, flawless person. Most recently, Bat For Lashes
has used this trick for her new album The Haunted Man
. You may not see any nakeds, but you can bet your bottom dollar that the guy she's holding can!
Of course you've got your classics, like John and Yoko
's Unfinished Music No.1: Two Virgins
. Funny because they weren't virgins and loved to talk about how much loving, hippy sex they were having.
Then you've got the weird stuff. People you never want to see naked. People who shouldn't be allowed
to be naked under any circumstances, even while showering. Avert your eyes children.
2. The magazine cover
Although seen as less legitimate than an album cover, getting naked on a magazine is the print industry's all time greatest trick. Not only will it drum up sales, but it makes the musician seem badass™. Sometimes young pop starlets use the naked magazine cover to finally prove that "I'm all grown up now, SHUT UP YOU'RE NOT MY REAL PARENTS!". Luckily Rolling Stone
is always happy to oblige!
3. The music video
Moving nudity, huzzah! You know that Duran Duran
's original video for "Girls on Film" had women mud wrestling topless? True story. Often the musicians are surrounded by naked people, but once in a blue moon they themselves get a little nude. Madonna
doesn't get totally naked in "Justify My Love", but naked enough that her video was banned in a bunch of places.
Wanna see David Bowie'
s butt? No problemo!
Hands up if you don't need to see Michael Jackson
naked? US TOO.
Funny naked is always better than 'tender' naked. Blink 182
are the best at this.
Choosing a video that Britney Spears
appears naked in is difficult. Partly because there are so, so many, and partly because you just want to wrap her in a blanket, scrub her face clean and tell her that it's all going to be OK.
4. The concert
It is actually the law that Lady Gaga appear semi-naked at all her concerts. Otherwise her meat dress gets taken off her.
5. The accidental nudity