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Five things Jay Z can't rap about anymore

30 APR 2013 | Posted By: SineadStubbins

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Five things Jay Z can't rap about anymore

Jay Z
 
Jay Z
 
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Jay Z
 
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Jay Z
Because they sometimes kill each other, rappers don't often rap into their old age. Having dodged both the bullets and the pen, Jay Z has remained a hip hop god since he was 26. But how do his lyrics about drug dealing and balling bitches stand up when we know that he's a multimillionaire who hangs out with politicians and has a wife and kids*?

*Remember when we all thought Blue Ivy was his first child, but then it came out he had another secret child? LOL, Hova.

Here are a few things Jay Z can't really rap about anymore:

Lyric then: "It's a hard knock life, for us."
Reality now: If by hard knock he means the physical knock of his solid gold Black Jesus necklace against his chest, then sure, it must be a hard knock life for Jay-Z.


Lyric then: "Only wife of mines is a life of crime. And since, life's a bitch in mini-skirts and big chests."
Reality now: Actually your wife is the most likable person in the whole world, and you begged her to get married for three years before she actually agreed. But sure, crime is cool too.


Lyric then: "Middle finger to the law, nigga gripping my balls."
Reality now: Because there's nothing more badass than investing in multinational companies, meeting with UN leaders, throwing fundraisers for presidents and paying taxes, right?


Lyric then: "So when the director yells cut, I’ll be fine. I’m forever young."
Reality now: You're 42.


Lyric then: "Me give my heart to a woman? Not for nothin, never happen. I'll be forever mackin."
Reality now:
 
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