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Five reasons Missy Elliott's new song is scary

13 SEP 2012 | Posted By: SineadStubbins

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Five reasons Missy Elliott's new song is scary

Missy Elliott Ching-A-Ling
 
Missy Elliott Ching-A-Ling
 
Missy Elliott Ching-A-Ling
 
Missy Elliott Ching-A-Ling
 
Missy Elliott Ching-A-Ling
 
Missy Elliott Ching-A-Ling
 
Missy Elliott Ching-A-Ling
 
Missy Elliott Ching-A-Ling
 
Missy Elliott Ching-A-Ling
 
Missy Elliott Ching-A-Ling
Did y'all here that Missy Elliott is making a comeback? Well, maybe we should use the word 'comeback' loosely, because we're not entirely sure how well her bezzaddled Adidas tracksuited ass is going to go.

Don't get us wrong, we WORSHIP the old Missy Elliott. This jam is still as cool as it was six years ago:


After rumours all year of a new album, earlier this month Timbaland promised that two new Missy Elliott tracks would soon emerge from the dark and mysterious hit factory he calls his recording studio. Here is the first:


Here are five things we find scary about Missy Elliott's new song:


1. Why only a snippet? Why not release the whole fucking song? Rappers these days release whole mixtapes, for free before they release their actual album. Why 1.26 minutes? WHY? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE?

2. Why does Missy Elliott make a point of telling everyone that "it's 2012"? To prove that this song wasn't recorded 5 years ago when she was successful, and that this isn't just old material re-released by Timbaland in a desperate attempt to make $$$, and MAYBE YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY EVEN ALIVE???

3. "We on that next shit!!!" No. No guys, you're not.


4. Is it just us, or does this song sound like leftover beats that Timbaland couldn't sell to another artist? Especially that weird repetitive bit at the end where Timbaland tries to rhyme a million words with "innovator" (FYI "refrigerator" doesn't make the cut). It's like he made lasagna on Monday, went to a party he forgot about on Friday and tried to pass of his congealed fragments of jelly cheese and meat as a new dish. People will not eat that Timbaland.


5. Ninth inning may refer to this being her ninth release. BUT according to Yahoo Answers, "The bottom of the 9th inning is the last inning in a non-overtime game in which the home team is either tied or losing to the away team, and must try to tie it or send it into extra innings". LOSING TO THE AWAY TEAM. What does it all mean?
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