I have this best friend who kind of thinks that she is Japanese. Um, but she’s not. Don’t get me wrong – she’s definitely in the Saucy Minx echelon of my social circle, and has some considerable physical attributes to boot, but flat-chested, size four, and almond-eyed, she most definitely is not.
These physical limitations don’t really seem to stop her, and over the last few years her wardrobe, hair and phone have become increasingly adorned with baby cupcakes, bows, and dangly things that light up and make cute noises. She also has an almost obsessive love of Japanese men, and occasionally likes to amuse herself with plots of artificially inseminating Swedish girls with Japanese sperm in order to create the genetically and physically superior masters:
The Eurasian.
We’d always just accepted this behaviour without thought of a larger cultural movement, until recently learning via
Urban Dictionary that it had terminology all to itself:
Wapanese (Wannabee Japanese). Apparently, there are shitloads of non-Japanese people everywhere who wish they were. Celebrities have helped push this little phenomenon along; such as Gwen Stefani – remember that phase in 2005 where she wouldn’t leave the house without her
Harajuku Girls? – and, more recently, Lady Gaga. God bless them, we love it!
You may be turning Wapanese if you:
1. Constantly bemoan that you are simply an "Asian girl trapped in a Caucasian body", somewhat like a transgender individual.
2. Shake your fit vehemently at cult Asian style sites such as
YesStyle, who often can’t offer shoe or clothing sizes above a size six.
3. Find excuses to buy Japanese dress-up costumes online, rationalising that "one day, very soon, that made-to-measure Sailor Moon outfit is going to come in handy".
4. Are what advertising execs call a 'niche market', and are a sucker for Western-originated products such as Harajuku Lovers perfume.
5. Whilst you vehemently embrace (stone cold fox) Gwen Stefani as your personal mentor, you can’t help but think that it couldn’t hurt for her to notch up the Wapanese in the below video-clip for 'What You Waiting For?'