The passion of the beard

A few months ago someone emailed me a picture of a guy with a massive moustache. It was meant to be a joke, but to me it was much more. So began the quest to uncover the men behind the most fantastic facial follicles in the world. Including one jack passion, the youngest competitor in the world beard and moustache championships.

D: Yeah, that's it. Nice.
J: (Laughs.)

SFX: More rustling.

Awkward silence.

D: I can't believe you're only 22. How long have you been cultivating your beard?
J: It'll be two and a half years around Christmas time.

D: That's a phenomenal amount of growth. Is it natural to be able to grow something that quickly?
J: Ahhh … yeah, I guess so.

D: So you've decided to grow the full beard but keep the top short. What's the theory behind that?
J: Well if you play music there's this superstitious belief that some of your magic ability is stored in your hair. But mine was looking horrible so I just cut it off.

D: So now you've got the upside down rock star thing going on?
J: (Laughs.) That's right.

D: When did you first realise you had a talent for bearding?
J: I was 13 and I was with my dad in his truck and we were going to baseball practice and he turned to me and said, ‘Son, it's time you started shaving'. So about a year later I grew sideburns … um, that was the beginning. From that age ‘til I was about 18, 19 I was known for having huge lamb chops.

D: So you were an early grower. Were any of your friends jealous that you had these massive chops and they hadn't even sprouted a pube?
J: Totally, totally. I remember being a freshman and walking around and people are like, ‘what the hell is this?' But what happened is, I thought … my face is a facial garden, let me harvest it, and I cut off the chops and grew a little beard.

D: When you say a little beard, was it sculpted?
J: No, no, never … it was two-weeks full growth. And then I shaved it off. And I felt horrible. I hated the way I looked and I vowed I would never shave again. And it's been growing ever since.

D: Nice. So tell me about Shave It or Save it ?
J: Well, in all honesty. Not all the ladies dig the beard. And sometimes that gets a man down.

D: Tell me about it brother.
J: So there've been times when I've been like, ‘I wonder what I look like under here'. Do I shave? It's a huge decision. And it's like … maybe I should let other people decide for me? So then I came up with Shave It of Save It. So in January, when you go to jackpassion.com, you can click Shave It or Save It. And you can cash your vote by donating money. You can donate a penny if you like.

D: We don't have pennies over here, but we do have five cent pieces. They have a platypus on it, which is furry like a beard don't you think?
J: Well yeah, you can donate a 5cent piece or something bigger if you like. And I'm going to try and get non-profit status so companies can donate. So what will happen, at the end of the campaign, whichever side has donated the most money that's what will happen to my face. And all the proceeds are going to go to a charity.

D: That's horrifying. Not the charity bit. But people are going to want to see the results and vote for you to shave it.
J: Yeah I know. So I've been thinking, maybe I should rig the contest. Or …

D: Well I'm donating all my money for you to save it.
J: Thanks.

D: Can you rustle your beard for me again?
SFX: I hear a grizzly bear rubbing-up against a tree like it has an itch.

More awkward silence.

D: Now you recently came third in the full natural division at the World Beard Championships in Berlin . How did you get involved?
J: Well I first heard about the competition when it was in Carson City last year but because my beard was so new I decided it wasn't worth it. But I should have entered because my beard would have done well in a few different categories. I totally regret not going. So I vowed hell or high water I'd be going to Berlin in 2005.

D: So was it everything you dreamed of when you got over there?
J: Well for most of my life I've wanted to go to Germany . And I think Southern Germany, Berlin , is one of the most beautiful places on earth. But the cool thing was, everywhere I looked there were beards. And at some point these people were about to become legends.

D: Now the full beard category, what are the restrictions?
J: It means you can clip, but you can't use styling aids. So no gel, no curls, that kind of thing. The reason I picked this category is because I'm not being judged on my styling ability, but the way I come. This is the way a man is meant to look.

D: You're kind of naked in a bearded form.
J: Yes, very much.

D: Now speaking of natural, I find it astounding that your beard is actually that red. So you're telling me there's nothing unnatural going on in there what so ever?
J: None.

D: But it's so bright compared to your hair.
J: I know, when it started coming out I thought, this beard is too red. Not to grow it out would be a crime.

D: Yeah, we've been calling it the beard of fire. Surely there's a song in that?
J: That's a good idea.

D: What does you family think of your beard?
J: Well my dad is like, ‘every man should grow a beard'. And I have to agree, at some point, every man should experiment with his facial hair. But my mum, for the longest time, was like (Jack puts on his high pitched, bearded lady voice) ‘Why do you grow that hair, I can't see my boy'. She wanted me to shave. But when I came back with that trophy in hand, she warmed up to the beard a fair bit.

D: Now you were saying some of the ladies don't dig the beard, but I noticed on your website there were a couple in particular visiting your chat room. Are these girlfriends or beard groupies?
J: (Laughs) You see when you have a savage beard it works in two ways. One, you're gonna get the chicks who just want to grab onto that beard and hold on for dear life. Which is fine by me. And for others, you really have to charm them with your character. You can't just be pretty and get everything handed to you in life.

D: So would you shave for love?
J: If it were true love I wouldn't have to shave.

D: That's beautiful.
J: Thanks.

D: I'd like to talk about the general upkeep of having a massive beard. Do you have any problems with food getting stuck in it?
J: I have to pull the beard back when I eat. Especially soup. Cereal gets in it. And corn bread is the worst possible food you could eat. It just crumbles and gets caught in the hair. It's a lot of upkeep. I have to brush it constantly. And condition it otherwise it'll get split-ends.

D: I was so inspired when I first saw your picture that I've decided not to shave until this magazine is printed. It's been two months so far.
J: Excellent!

D: Have you got any tips on how I can progress this further?
J: Well there'll be times when you're growing your beard out and it doesn't look that good. But don't get discouraged. Because as soon as you pass that point, that's when it looks the best. The beard is very dynamic – sometimes it gets thin and other times, really full. The main thing is just to keep it clean and healthy and then you'll never hate it.

You said you had a girlfriend?

D: Yeah, and she's actually a fan of the beard.
J: Oh, that's solid gold. You couldn't ask for more. It's important to keep people around you that support your bearding. It's a ton of fun.

D: It sure is. Thanks Jack. Oh yeah, one more thing, any final words on luxury?
J: Having a full beard is like the finest pelt you can wear.