Everyone’s favourite bleach haired, crazy-eyed, sneaker shuffling ‘rapper’ Nicki Minaj features in the new Adidas Originals TVC. She‘s hangin’ with some weird multi-coloured, animal print puffa jacket- wearing guy, while strutting like a duck on pingers down a NY street (still trying to upstage those Victoria Secret models, I see). Somehow, I don’t think anyone wants to look that ‘original’, especially if it includes the phrase “bat shit crazy” when discussing your wardrobe. Although the other peeps in the commercial look pretty cool, the girls from Tokyo did seem about two seconds away from getting all Battle Royale
on some pedestrian’s ass.
Katy Perry is my unadulterated girl crush, however a rather unflattering angle photographed of KP at the photo call for her new flick Part of Me
in Rio de Janeiro, has forced me to seriously re-think my overly zealous ‘hypothetic lady friend’ choice. ‘Cos damn, that really is one unflattering way to get snapped. There’s no way you would choose that. Not ever. But she did choose the horrendo mustard coloured cut-out dress she wore, so Katy needs to hire a new stylist now that she hasn’t got that hairy, jewel laden, sex obsessed English man on her arm. What a shit accessory he was.
P.S Courtney Love’s boobs should’ve had their own interview. Just sayin’.
Whoever is styling Rachel Weisz needs to organise a hit on Katy’s stylist and take control, because the 42 year-old actress is looking absolutely gorgeous. At the Bourne Legacy
premiere in New York, Weisz was wearing Christian Dior and managed to upstage, well….pretty much everyone in a 10km radius. Albeit Ke$ha was performing just around the corner and managed to drag the average well-dressed list to negative two hundred billion.
The Crocs 10th Anniversary shin dig was happening in Time Square as well, and it was a sight to behold. To think that this beloved shoe has only been around for a mere decade! What a true source of fashionable inspiration and sophistication. I mean, a plastic clog with holes cut out of it in which you can stick PVC accessories. WHAT A FUCKING JOKE. What’s worse is that Dancing with the Stars contestant, Maria Menounos was the ‘celebrity appearance’ to the ‘event’. And even worse than that was the totes inappropriate men who decided to try and lift her up in order to show the photographers a little up skirt, Katy Perry style. Don’t they know that Miss Menounos has dabbled in wrestling for WWE? The only thing that would’ve made this party worthwhile would’ve been Menounos body slamming that old coot with her tiny frame and then bludgeoning him to death with a bright pink Croc.
Yep, she actually used the word, ‘pounded’. Wrestling and sexual innuendo really do go hand in hand.
As do bras - and everything! Take note, Jennifer Aniston. It is not cool to have your razor sharp nipples forcing their way through your t-shirts anymore. You did it throughout the ten years Friends
was aired, and quite frankly you constantly looked cold. Plus, people will be more inclined to nipple-cripple you. It’s now become a safety issue, Jennifer.
From no bras to no pants now, as Ashley Tisdale embodies the current bottom-dweller Hollywood fashion of LA celebrities. She was seen walking around in daylight and on purpose in this shocking ensemble (see gallery). What exactly is she trying to achieve here? What can one achieve with arse-crack-high leg warmers that stop at the ankles? What the fark is going on here? And with thongos! I just don’t get it - and I’m evidently angry about it.
What has made me happy though is seeing Kate Upton in yet another photo shoot. This time for Contributor magazine and ‘dressed’ in Guess by Marciano - albino eyebrows never looked so good.
The people behind Victoria’s Secret must never sleep - surviving on a wonderful diet of fairy floss and cocaine - because there is a new video, launch or line produced every second week! Candice Swanepoel and Bregje Heinen appeared at the launch of Body by Victoria at the Soho store in NYC. Taking the awkward lean to new, um, angles.
And finally, Claire Danes is a dead set hottie - fogging up the cover of GQ. Wearing spiky red Manolo Blahniks and a white halter evening gown with thigh high split from Ralph Lauren’s Black Label line, Claire is all glamour. With people like Ashley Tisdale in the world, it’s nice to know some celebrities still know how to put on clothes.
Over and out amigos!