So everybody has been weeping for days over these allegedly “candid” shots (VERY SCEPTICAL) of Miranda Kerr taken by Orlando Bloom for a feature in the New York Times. Continues to promote herself as a biodegradable yoga zen natural holistic mother earth goddess, biatch.
But whatever, here’s a video of her sticking Terry Richardson in the ass.
Lana Del Rey’s H&M campaign photos are out, and you won’t BELIEVE her transformation! Haha. Just kidding. Same shit, different day.
Alexander Wang has been cleared of that pesky $450 million sweatshop lawsuit. Thank god. Fashion ladies need their overpriced (but admittedly super soft) jersey t-shirts and they WILL NOT EAT until they are safe. Or after.
Yung Rapunxel (Azealia Banks, keep up) is breaking the internets, with the video for her newest single ‘Van Vogue’ going viral overnight last week. It’s totes fashun too, so obvs we love it (we are all about da label$$), Banks be namedropping her “Dolce crop top” and “Celine wedges” as she writhes around in a pool of shallow water for reasons I am still unsure of. But it’s kind of great. I’m taking my fat freelance writer cheque for a spending spree at Dolce as we speak.
Also, Banks’ **controversial-banned-in seven-countries**cover for Dazed & Confused was released. Considering she is giving us the finger with a condom in her mouth above a title that features the word “BLOWS”, I don’t know if it’s okay that my initial reaction to this was, “OMG who did her nails?!”
Until she’s snorting coke with Julian Assange off Kim Kardashian’s ass for Dolly Magazine, I remain unshocked.
Speaking of Kim Kardashian, she was on the cover of New York Magazine last week and was all, “I don’t care about Vogue!”
Lol, okay Kim. Tell us more about the time they were playing your jam.
Back to actual fashions. Australian jewelry designer Elke Kramer collabed with COLAB, and together they made sweet, beautiful love. In the form of some super rad sunglasses.
Teamwork galore! Yesterday, Opening Ceremony announced that their next collaboration is going to be with KOREA! Just the country, in general. Let’s celebrate with K-POP!
Oh, and also OC did another video feat Chloe Sevigny and her magnificent wardrobe. My only complaint is that this video is titled “Where’s Bambi?” and involves neither an elaborate game of hide and seek with Bambi Northwood Blyth, nor C-Sevs looking for her mother who was killed by a hunter in the woods. So basically Opening Ceremony are fucking liars and I was really disappointed.
You can, however, find the Bambi who models stuff starring in the look book for just-launched kewl sportswear brand, Work Out Life. From namaste to nightime (ha! ha!), everything in this collection is making us want to zen the fuck out ASAP, and we really appreciate that they have a pair of leggings called “NO 1 ASS PANT”. A collective thank you from our asses in advance.
Robert Pattinson supporters can put down the pitchforks, untie Kirsten Stewart from the stake and instead passive aggressively show their united rage with these “KRISTEN STEWART IS A TRAMPIRE” t-shirts (by Chanel). I kind of feel bad for her. She must have a lot of really mean anon messages in her tumblr inbox :(
Quickly get out your ironic lenless glasses (shrieks Alice from Masterchef)! Nerds are cool again! Philip Lim has created a comic book for Fashion’s Night Out, except it’s just about hot babes dominating the world in really, really expensive clothes. So shut up, nerd.
And finally, the only vaguely relevant and important news. Beyonce shot the video for her single “I Was Here” at The United Nations, and looked BANGING. Angels cried, cancer was cured, world hunger was solved. THE END.