Okay everyone, ATTENTION ON ME, we've got a lot to get through this week. So many fashions!
Steven Meisel made another video for Lanvin, the first since their hugely successful Fall/Winter 2011 film feat. babes breaking it down to Pitbull. This one features "real people!" and "not models!" except whatever, they totally are. The boys rock. Clothes are dope. Styling is insane. Everyone says "like" a lot. Frozen blueberries are cool. Moving on.
In the midst of everyone being really :( re: the demise of the publishing industry (and rightly so), former ACP editor Alison Veness is shutting down those basic bitches and will launch Australian editions of HiGh FaShiOn European magazine 10 and 10 Men. This is really exciting! We need more fashions! Hopefully they will be looking for some snarky writers to join the team...JKS <3 you Lifelounge.
Confirming what everybody has been saying anyway, Kanye West is taking KimmyK from tacky hoe to "[his] perfect bitch", one pair of leather leggings at a time. Generally I don't condone controlling relationships, but in this case I am more than willing to make an exception. Do yo thang Yeezy.
Apparently Billabong is about to go bust! BRB gotta fish out my year 7 backpack and sell it for a million dollars on eBay. That shit is limited edition discontinued vintage now.
Mischa Barton has been confirmed to attend this year's Melbourne Cup. She said, "I am excited to visit Flemington racecourse and witness what I understand is an extraordinary fashion spectacle." Jesus. There are so many things wrong with that sentence. I don't know whether this is more depressing for Marissa (RIP Coop) or Melbourne, fingers crossed there are no hissy fits when she sees what the fuck she's in for.
While we are on the topic of bony people with long hair (seamless segway), an app has been produced to track Kate Middleton's style, designed to tell you what she's wearing at any given moment and where she got all those knee length dresses and polo shirts from. If this activity comes up in your Facebook newsfeed, definitely unfriend the user immediately.
John Galliano has been unfriended by everyone, and is now being stripped of his French Legion of Honor award for the anti-Semitic comments he made last year. Not sure why this is only happening now, that guy sucks.
You know what doesn't suck? Anything to do with Leonardo DiCaprio. Or Baz Luhrmann. Or Prada. See where I'm going with this? Miuccia Prada collaborated with costume designers for Gatsby! Dying. Dead. It’s okay if you want to cry. Let's watch the trailer again and hold each other.
GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! Alexa Chung is starting her own label, for realz. Peter pan collars for everyone!
Kahlo released their SS 12/13 lookbook and everything is gr8! Supreme did stuff too, featuring pro sk8r boi Jason Dill. Swag swag camo neon #iamnotahipster etc.
If you hadn't realised, S&M IS IN, and the new fashion film for Brian Atwood is basically just porn. NSFW, unless you work at Lifelounge. In which case, let's talk about this around the water cooler in five.
In other naked news, someone at V Magazine has clearly got a MILF fetish, with both Nicole Kidman and Celine Dion getting nakes in the latest issue. Does anybody else feel really weird about this?? All power to you girlfriends, but I just don't think I can support the ratio of ass to skirt that is going on here. In the lives of every woman-of-a-certain-age, there comes the time where she needs to ditch the side boob and Meryl Streep the shit out of herself. That time is now, ladies.
Also Catherine McNeil came out of hiding, and no, she didn't get fat. Terry Richardson shot her for Vogue China, but she's not naked/putting phallic objects in and around her mouth/fisting herself? I don't really get it. But actually this is a beautiful shoot; in future Terry should do less Terry and more this.
Here I was supposed to say something about how Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes will be showing their collections on the same day at New York Fashion Week, but then I got distracted by pictures of Suri Cruise doing stuff, so I don’t really have any information about that for you. Google it or something.
And finally, Miranda Kerr does something interesting THANK GOD. I fully support and encourage this. Do you think this endorsement means I can drink Lipton Iced Tea on my skinny bitch organic raw food diet??
SAYONARA, CIAO FOR NOW, THE END.