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The Fashist Manifesto - volume sixty six

19 SEP 2012 | Posted By: NickJ

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The Fashist Manifesto - volume sixty six

Acne
 
Adele
 
Adriana Lima
 
Cat Marnell
 
Dion Lee
 
George Gorrow
 
Jonanthan Saunders
 
Karley Sciortino
 
Lea Michele
 
Liz Hurley
Adele might be collaborating with Christopher Bailey for a plus sized Burberry range. This is maybe very exciting news! 

Some people are angry with Liz Hurley because apparently she made kids swimwear that is “disturbing”. FYI, there are no jokes to be made about potential kiddy porn (I have been trying for like half an hour). Now I feel weird putting the offending image in the gallery so instead let’s all look at Liz Hurley in the glory days and marvel at how Shane Warne gets to stick it in her on a regular basis. 

Tavi was on Jimmy Fallon and could not have been more eloquent/lovely/not 16. She talked about Bjork and bitchfaced, BLESS HER. 

Lea Michele ie. that whiny bitch singing on a TV near you has been signed on as the new face of L’Oreal for a million dollars. Like, actually a million dollars. I am not using that figure symbolically for an ambiguously large sum of money. 

Sex Fashun Sex Fashun Sex FASHUN do you see where I am going with this? Everybody knows you need to be fashion to get laid. Karley Sciortino from Slutever fame conducts a very informative interview with Sophia Lamar re: how to be FABULOUS. **Spoiler** penetration in bathrooms is fabulous, blow-jobs are just tragic. Are you taking notes?! I can't make the embed code work so here is the link instead. You better not get distracted and not come back here though, I WILL KNOW. 

Adriana Lima gave birth to her second child. Quick poll: does having more than one human come out of your vagina make you less sexually attractive? Think hard about your answer carefully as these results are seriously going to affect my future. 

EVERYBODY EVERYBODY Girls Season 2 is done and dusted and coming back into our lives in January! This is relevant to fashion news because Jessa wears hats and kimonos and feathers and also one time Shoshanna wore a sparkly skirt and then took it off after she accidentally smoked crack at a warehouse party and THAT my friends is what the fashion industry is all about (also using ‘and’ a lot is very important). Here is a season 2 teaser which is pretty disappointing tbh, but let’s all hold hands and be happy anyway.

George Gorrow has parted ways with Ksubi :( One time I pronounced the K in Ksubi while talking to a srsly fashun gay guy and his eyes rolled so far back into his head I thought I had conjured the devil. That is a Ksubi related story. Cool. 

Rebekka Bay ie. the lady who started Cos ie. the best best best chain store ever is ie. the new creative director of ie. Gap. Exactly what the term creative director actually entails is still unclear to me, but I’m pretty sure it’s what Jay Manuel does on ANTM, and that can only be a good thing.

Everybody’s favourite crack whore Cat Marnell (this is a term of endearment bb luv u) is selling leggings for Married To The Mob with those PCP eyes and Adderall thighs. I would like her to start writing more and being oversaturated in ugly pants less. 

Congratulations to Kate Middleton for doing interesting things this week, like wearing Prabal Gurung and also showing some nip. A+! It’s kind of like lol srsly u r a princess wut r u doing but also totally normal and if you want to watch my vlog about the FEMINISZT IMPLICATIONZ compared with Prince Harry nudie pics pls visit my website princesstitty.com 

Oh and speaking of Prabal Gurung, here is a tutorial video with a Sally Hansen gurl show how to do the F/W 13 runway nailz but BACK OFF EVERYONE I shotgun instagramming this first.  

OK team. I have done my best at avoiding srs fashions, but I am only human and there are only so many times I can bypass terrible trend related word play like “Sheer Delight!” and “Fifty Shades of Louise Gray” (actually I love that one. Light applause, please carry on). The thought of actually analysing any collections is literally nauseating to me, so here are some brand names with corresponding exclamation marks and smiley faces. 

-Dion Lee !!! :) :) :) !!!!!!!!! 

-Acne !!!! :) !!!!! :) !!!!! :) !!!!!!! :) 

-!!! :) :) JONATHAN SAUNDERS :) :) !!!! 

-Richard Nicoll :) ! !!!!!!!!!!!

-Christopher Kane !!!!!!! :) :) :) :)

-! :) ! :) Mary Katrantzou !!! :) :) !! 

-Simone Rocha :) :) :) !!!!!! :’( :’( (I haven’t even seen this but Susie Bubble said it was “beautiful and haunting” so I'm just covering my ass)

That's it! THE END. 
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