The full version
of that Tom Cruise
editorial for W Magazine
has been released. There's more of Abbey Lee
with her hands down his leather pants, as well as pierced nipples and pretend (we hope) blow jobs. It's about as cringey as that Cocktail
waterfall scene, but not in a funny, excusably 80s sorta way.
WHERE EVEN TO START WITH THIS ONE? Australian Vogue's long-time Editor, Kirstie Clements, has been "replaced" by arch publishing rival, Harper's Bazaar's editor Edwina McCann. It's lucky we have Hollywood to do the talking for when our minds are just too blown for words.
Back in Happyland: welcome to the new Miranda Kerr/Catherine McNeil/Doutzen Kroes
. 23-year-old model Behati Prinsloo
is the latest face
for swimwear brand Seafolly
. And by "face" we clearly mean lots of itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny bikinis. None with polka dots.
You need them immediately
for the low, low price of 119 Euros. If that's too expensive, then you could just ask Joey to draw a dick on your face with a black magic marker.
Makeovers!!! [girlish giggle] Mark Zuckerberg
needs one. Click here
if you wish to see him Photoshopped into shiny purple pants that hug his manhood. Not that you should be looking at his crotch because he's now married and probably in a $100 trillion prenup.
Speaking of inappropriate crotch perusing: US President Barack Obama
is talking about David Beckham
's bulging underwear shots
. "It is a rare man who can be that tough on the field and also have his own line of underwear," he says.
French DJ Jean-Roch
has shot Karl Lagerfeld
alongside Snoop Dogg
for his latest video clip. We merde you not.
Bonds has released a new babywear commercial. Depending on your inclination towards small children and/or that overplayed Devo song, it's heartwarming or vom-inducing. Zips are really convenient though, right Mum?
Chanel is selling luxury velvet face stickers as part of its Cruise 2012/13 cosmetics collection. To go with those $400 luxury face wipes.
Aussie model Erin McNaught(y)
is in her birthday suit on the front cover of Maxim
to celebrate her 30th birthday. As one does.
Prepare for world domination. More so. Online superpower Asos is moving its HQ in London to a 90,000 square foot office space. It also plans to reach £1 billion turnover by 2015. ONE BILLION DOLLARS.
Speaking of world/national domination: much hyped Sydney designer Emma Mullholland has been picked up by also much hyped PR agency, Under The Wing.
Take a Supermodel to Work Day. You wish it was a paid public holiday but it sadly isn't. That said, something called The Skullcandy NBA crew took glamour model Kate Upton to their workplace in aid of it. Hilarity ensued.
And lastly. Here's a fake arse that displays "emotions". Just because.