RIGHTY 'HO THEN! The
Teen Choice Awards were on, and boy, could I write an entire article about the fashion travesties that were born and died there. Buuut, I won’t. I’ll just stick to highlighting the best and nastiest of the night.
Starting with the nasty, because as you should by now know, I like to end with the nice shiny things that make you smile giddily.
Singer
JoJo has the single worst tattoo I’ve seen for a while. It’s a skeletal T- Rex running down her arm. It sounds so much cooler written down than in real life. If only she were cast in
Jurassic Park, and not
Aquamarine.
Yep, I know you’ll all be downloading that film like crazy right now, huh? That’ll bring the download number to at least 3. Cringe factor 110%.
Camouflage print is NEVER ok. Especially when you look like a lesbian version of
Justin Bieber. Oh, hang on. That is
Justin Bieber. Looking as girly as ever, even in a camo top. Speaking of more camo fashion faux pas,
Kevin McHale from Glee was also trying desperately to rock the camo pants and able-bodied look. Apparently camouflage pants can help you walk again.
Moving on from auto tune and onto the best looks of the night.
Taylor Swift looked absolutely ah-mazing, as did
Ian Somerhalder from
Vampire Diaries who didn’t need to do much other than wear a grey t-shirt and smile mischievously.
Speaking of smiling mischievously, have we all seen the trailer for
Magic Mike? The, umm, costumes in that movie look pretty spectacular.
Unfortunately, it looks like there is an actual storyline in that film. I just want to see
Channing Tatum bust out some sweet moves and
Matthew McConaughey speak in that Southern drawl.
Mamma Monster,
Lady Gaga has released a new fragrance, Fame. It comes in an egg shaped bottle with golden claws grasping at the sides. It is also the world’s first black coloured eau de parfum that sprays on clear - blah, blah. It’s an excuse for the Gaga to have yet another naked photo shoot, show off her arse in
Alexander McQueen armadillo heels and have muscular miniature men clutching to her porcelain pink bits.
Supermodel
Nicola Trunfio stars in
Kookai’s latest campaign shot in Marrakesh. Celebrating two decades, the Aussie label’s Arabesque Spring/Summer shoot sees both Trunfio and fellow model
Ilona Novacek rock some amazing designs, full of bold colours reminiscent of balmy summer nights and the scent of coconut oil. I’m not sure what some of Trunfio’s distorted/ dagger-like expressions are meant to represent though…….
And to end, you know it’s always summer in Miami, and the fake tan flows more freely (if that is even possible) when it’s
Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Swim. Aussie label
Suboo wowed the bikini loving fashionistas, as models pouted with pale pink fervour, whilst bronzing powder created a mushroom cloud behind them as they strutted in some hot Lycra get-ups and beautiful chiffon silk frocks.